NEW YORK, NY—ABC News has been praised as a bastion of journalistic integrity and in-depth reporting after being the first ones to air authentic footage of a 164-foot-tall radioactive dinosaur rampaging through Syria.

The footage, dubbed "Slaughter in Syria," shows the monster, named "Gojira" or "Godzilla" by people screaming in the video, rising from the ocean to attack coastal cities throughout the region. Desperate locals try to fend off the monster with depth charges, a huge electric fence, tanks, and fighter jets. But mostly it doesn't work and they just scream a lot.

Some experts believe we created the monster through too much nuclear testing and some drone strikes and feel we should study the monster. As these experts were opining on the matter in Syria, Godzilla appeared again and destroyed them with his atomic breath.

"Here we can see the harmful effects of Trump's actions in the region," said an anchor grimly. "May God have mercy on us all."

Fortunately, at the last minute, the US military returned and used a weapon called the "Oxygen Destroyer" to defeat the monster for good.

ABC News reporters warn, however, that Godzilla may return to Syria soon to fight other monsters, most notably in a disappointing attack in 1998 and pretty cool attacks in 2014 and 2019.

https://babylonbee.com/news/abc-news-labels-scene-from-1954s-godzilla-as-authentic-syria-footage

Democrats Storm Out Of Syria Meeting After Getting Into Shouting Match With Trump Over Whether A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich
October 17th, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, and House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer all stormed out of the meeting on Syria with President Donald Trump, each side accusing the other of being “unhinged.” Apparently, the meeting broke down when Trump suggested they all order lunch and get “sandwiches.” When asked what type of sandwich he wanted, Trump suggested “hot dogs.”

The room was dead silent for a few seconds before Pelosi yelled, “What did you just say?”

“I said the type of sandwich I like is a hotdog,” Trump clarified.

“Are you insane?” Pelosi demanded, barely keeping herself in control. “Are you really calling a hotdog a sandwich?”

“It’s meat between two slices of bread,” Trump said nonchalantly. “It’s a sandwich.”

Pelosi was now on her feet and shouting. “That’s not what it is!” Pelosi then turned to the other Republicans in the room. “How long are you going to put up with this madness? How long?” None of the other people would meet her eyes, though.

“They, like me, also enjoy sandwiches!” Trump yelled. “Especially with ketchup!”

At this point Pelosi stormed out of the room along with Schumer and Hoyer. At a later press conference, Pelosi said, “All we can do now is pray for the president’s health -- his mental health. He has a sick, sick mind.”

Trump Bragged: Few people would be able to do what we did, we got it from here, and we got it from there, and we got it from all over the place and we are building it now. (BUT THATS A LIE ALSO)

What Trump meant was he took $61 million from 127 military projects to pay for his wall. That’s US tax payer funds.

(OMG I THOUGHT MEXICO WAS PAYING) DID YOU HEAR THAT YOU R****T DEGENERATE PARTY THAT SCREAMED AND YELLED AT HIS RALLIES ( I WILL BUILD A GREAT WALL AND MEXICO WILL PAY) DID YOU NOT GET ORGASMATIC WHEN TRUMP SAID THAT.

Trump stole those funds from people who risk there lives for AMERICAN people and there families, and that fat POS brags about it. (STEALING FROM PEOPLE IN NEED IS NOT A SK**L ITS A CRIME.)

Let’s see how many times did that fat POS say Mexico will pay. Let’s see if we can list them.

1) Mexico will pay
2) Mexico will pay
3) Mexico will pay
4) Mexico will pay
5) Mexico will pay
7) Mexico will pay
8) Mexico will pay
9) Mexico will pay
10) Mexico will pay
11) Mexico will pay
12) Mexico will pay
13) Mexico will pay
15) Mexico will pay
16) Mexico will pay
17) Mexico will pay
18) Mexico will pay
19) Mexico will pay
Ahhhhh what the hell you southern r****t degenerates could give a damm that Mexico pays means the AMERICAN taxpayer is paying at the expense of the military men, women and there children.

You used the word "i***t" ~ same dif. What's the difference? BTW, I've been called every name in the book on OPP from c**ksucker to "dick licker. who cares? Pretty shocking being that they support the biggest group of "those kind" on the planet...namely the L**T community. So they are ridiculing the very same group that they support. What's that called? Hypocrisy!!!!! It's a badge of honor coming from guys like you. Ten years ago I was somewhat sensitive. Now, it's "bring it on". Like "water off a ducks back". When they let you have it with sophomoric, schoolyard antics, you know you're getting to them. You call everybody who doesn't agree with you some kind of childish sophomoric imprecation. Believe or not, I know how the radical far left view my opinions and don't give a s**t. When I hear the Left talk about full term a******ns, open borders, healthcare to i******s, I think THEY are as you put it "i***ts".

Bringing our country down? Surely you don't mean the extra $5800 average that American workers are getting with Trump ( that's tax cuts and wage increases). Surely it's not the lowest unemployment in 56 years? Or for the black community, the lowest in our country's history? Ditto for Latinos and women of all races. Surely it's not because he is making other nations trade with us more fairly? Or that he is making them pay more of their fair share? Surely it's not because he has put in place protections for those of us who worship God? Or that he is doing his best to protect our country form enemies both foreign AND domestic? Or that the stock market has hit record after record? Is it because he puts America first? ( which would be kinda weird on your part if so). There's more positives but I don't want to get real long winded.
So, pray-tell, what in the name of heaven are you referring to that we should be ashamed of?