DNA TEST


After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do
a DNA test.She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey,
I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's
up?

Wife: According
to DNA test results, this is not our kid...


Husband: Well
you don't remember, do you??? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped, then
you said: "Please
go change the baby, I'll wait for you here." So
I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.

Moral: Never
give a man a job for which he is not qualified.

  Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,
    double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

    Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller
    complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still
    hadn't paid for them.

    Helloooo,........... just because I'm a Senior Citizen doesn't mean
    that I am automatically mentally challenged.

    So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year
    --that these windows would pay for themselves in a year---


    Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
    There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.

    He never called back.  I bet he felt like an i***t.

I got this email from one of "our boys" this morning and, with his permission, thought I would share it with you guys.

His name is Burnie ,Mark, our foster son, said as he carried the scrawny three legged dog out the door to the car. We had allowed him to choose from a large se******n of dogs and puppies at the shelter and this was his choice. He carried the dog out to the car with a look of p***e on his face as if he had just selected the most beautiful dog in the world, instead of this ugly puppy, missing one foot, and with half of one ear torn off.

We had gotten a dog crate, blanket, dishes, good food and a leash and collar the day before, so we were all set. The dog had been treated for heartworm infestation so would require limited exercise for at least two months. He was smiling as he sat in the seat with the dog, whose tail was wagging hesitantly.

Mark had been with us for around 9 months. As a foster child he could be returned to his abusive home life with his drug addicted mother any time the court chose, and we were terrified they would demand his return . When he arrived at our house, his mother had recently burned down their house because she was stoned, and Mark had spent several weeks in the hospital recovering from burns but now he was doing well and actually going to school. He was smiling now as he sat on the car seat with his new puppy whose tail was wagging hesitantly.

We arrived home, got Burnie to pee outside and brought him into the kitchen. Mark sat with him on the floor while the dog ate, then curled up next to the crate while Burnie took a nap. I was so worried about the future. Would the dog be all right. Would Mark be forced to return to his "mother" who would probably dump the dog by the side of the road or k**l it. Mark smiled and sat up and smiled at his new buddy. "He's a good dog" he said."thanks Dad for him" All of a sudden I knew everything would be all right. It was the first time he had called me "Dad"

Mark and Burnie have been with us for 5 years now and everything is great. Every day is Thanksgiving here. Just wanted you to know

By the way, I did not misspell the dogs name. He has burn scars from his first owner lighting him on fire. But as Mark says "so do I" (from the house fire)

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

From all indications so far, the Senator had ear plugs in because of running his mower and was ambushed from behind. I wonder what crime he committed to have earned that ? I suppose a tough guy like you would have used his 6th sense and avoided the tackle, and then thrashed the tar out of the interloper.

HATING W****S: NOT A SOLUTION FOR B****S

An Excellent Post by Mychal Massie – A Black man.

Indeed, B****s seem to be their very own worst enemy in multiple areas of our society. IMHO B****s must find a resolve to their h**e within the Black Community itself. However, there is a major problem there -- Exceptional Leadership with meaningful horizons to become a productive factor in American Society is severely lacking within the Black Community.

Read Massie’s exceptional post at the link below – it makes sense for all Americans:

http://www.wnd.com/2017/11/hating-w****s-not-a-solution-for-b****s/

--JB