Big Bass

The teacher said, "I want to test your vocabulary. What I'm going to do, is call a letter of the alphabet and I want you to give me a word beginning with that letter. OK! "A"."
Little Johnny put up his hand. "Miss, MISS-MISS-MISS!" She thought: "He'll probably say "ass," or something worse." So she asked another student.
"B" "MISS-MISS-MISS!!" shouted Johnny. The teacher thought, "Hmmm, he'll probably say "ball, bum, or bugger." So she asked another student.
"C" "MISS-MISS-MISS-MISS!!!!! She thought, "Heck, no! I'm not going near that one." So she asked another student.
All the way down to "R" "MISS-MISS-MISS-MISS!!!!! "Hmmm," thought the teacher, "What begins with "R?" Then to Johnny, "OK, Johnny, give me a word beginning with "R."
"Rats, big f*cking rats with two-foot-long cocks!!"

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: You be bad. :twisted: :shock:

boatbob2

CMON,everyone,post MORE little Johnny jokes..

Elwood Loc: Florida

Here are a couple more. :lol: :lol:

Ugly Faces.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
Urinate.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

Big Bass

:lol: :lol: :lol: You bad too! Now, all we have to do is compile these jokes into a book...

Big Bass

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Casablanca a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Johnny's whore."

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: Smart little gal.

Father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new mountain bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike, son? It must have cost $500,” he asked. Little Johnny replied, “I earned it hiking, Dad.” “Come on, John,” the father said. “Tell the t***h.” “That is the t***h, Dad!” Johnny replied. “Every night while you were gone, Mom’s boss came come over to work late with Mom. He’d give me a twenty and tell me to take a hike!”

Little Johnny was sitting on the fence, watching a bull with two cows. The preacher walked up and asked Johnnie what he was doing. Johnny replied, “I’m watching that bull screw that black cow.” The preacher was shocked. “John, you shouldn’t use that word. Instead, say the bull is going to ‘surprise’ the black cow.” “Okay.” The preacher continued on his walk. The next Sunday, the preacher was shaking hands with his parishioners as they left church when Little Johnnie appeared with his parents. The preacher bent down, smiled, and asked, “So, Johnnie, did that bull ‘surprise’ the black cow?” Johnnie replies, “He sure did! He f*¢ked the white one!”

Little Johnny heard the word “whorehouse” during recess and later asked his father what it meant. Dad was shocked. “Well, uh, John, that’s a place where men go to, uh, to have a good time.” Johnny replied, “I wanna go there. I wanna go there.” Dad insisted that Johnny was too young. But on Saturday night, when Johnny’s dad and some of his friends headed to Mable’s for “a good time,” Little Johnny secretly followed them. Once Dad and his buddies had been inside a while, Little Johnny knocked on Mable’s front door. She opened the door and was surprised to see an eight-year-old standing there. “Yes?” she asked. Little Johnny said, “I’m here for a good time!” Since Mabel had a heart of gold (of course!), she invited him inside, gave him three donuts, and then sent him on his way home. Johnny took his time going home and arrived home well after his Dad. “Johnny, where have you been? It’s late!” “I went to Mabel’s whorehouse, Daddy!” Dad blanched. “You did? Umm, how was it?” Johnny bragged, “Well, I managed the first two with no problem, but I just licked the third one!”

boatbob2

little Johnny,had his first shot of Bourbon,and it made him very drunk,as he was staggering down the street,(it was a VERY hot night)Mables coustomers were on the roof,doing their thing,one couple were so ingrossed on laying pipe,that they fell off the roof onto the sidewalk,little Johnny went up and knocked on Mabels door,Mable came out,looked at Johnny,and said "youre too damn young,and youre too damn drunk,you cant come in" Little Johnny said,I don't want to come in,I just wanted to tell you,that your sign fell down...

boatbob2

Little Johnny joined the US Navy And was leaving on a round the world trip with the US Navys 7 th Fleet,On his last nite in town,he decided to get laid,so he hoofed it up to the street walkers stroll,he found a hooker,he told her,Im leaving tomorrow,and Ill be at sea for almost a year,I need to get laid,but,I only have a quarter (25 cents)She felt sorry for him,and gave him some nookie,the next day,he was itching very bad,the Doctor told him youi have the crabs,Little Johnny was pissed,he told all his buddies,when we get back,im going to beat that hookers ass,when they returned,Little Johnny,went to the stroll,found the hooker,and told her,you b***h,you gave me the crabs,The hooker looked at Little Johnny,and said " what did you expect for a quarter LOBSTERS??????????

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

boatbob2

Little Johnny got into a shotgun marriage,His girlfriends father caught them boogying in the back seat of the car,He told Little johnny,your going to marry my daughter,or your going to prison for 20 years,Little johnny married her,one nite his wife woke up,and found Little johnny sitting at the kitchen table crying his eyes out,his wife asked him why he was crying,Little johnny said,remember when your dad caught us boogying in the back seat of the car?? and he told me,If I didn't marry you,I was going to prison for 20 years,She said,I remember,but,why are you crying,Little Johnny said "Im crying because, I would be getting out of prison tomorrow"