English is the world's international language. It is often used to explain things to tourists coming in from other countries.

But while English is well known, it's not always well written, resulting in some truly, although unintentional, comic signs. Here are some of my all-time favorite broken English signs:



In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Rome laundry outlet:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours—we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today—no ice cream.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

RETW, Lets not forget that Churchill was a conservative. Conservatism, liberalism, and socialism have somewhat different meanings in the UK than they do here. I think that when the super wealthy get the lions share of the benefits of a tax deduction, while the middle and working classes get a few crumbs that fall off the table onto the floor, something is wrong. Today CEOs average three hundred times the compensation of the people that actually work for the corporation. Thats over a two hundred percent rise since World War Two. To me, that kind of says who is really greedy in our society. I guess there was a need for words!