Your words make me feel better that you are praying that I find comfort.

That is a sweet comment that every life influenced continues to share her and the prayer is very important to me.

Reading the posts has been therapeutic and I thank everyone for their comforting words and the rationale and the kindness. It has been extremely helpful and I will find myself re-reading these posts over and over.

I thought I'd add some old pictures of us

Kids going to Junior Prom


As kids enjoying summer vacation

Thank you and I really need to focus on how fortunate we were to have each other so long and the love and the bond and so many memories and so many dreams fulfilled that should really comfort me instead of wishing how things could've been had there been a chance to overcome the illnesses.

I especially want to thank you for your prayers because prayer is so very important to me.

That is great advice and it makes sense but despite that, it is still, you know.

I know we are so fortunate to have been inseparable since we were kids yet, with all that we went through together and with me carrying her to the potty and bathing her and washing hair and doing IV antibiotics 3x/day and other IV meds each day and seeing drastic improvements and opting out of a triple bypass for multiple c****ary stents, and opting out of a mid-calf amputation and it worked...

Thank you for your kind words and letting me express now that I'm ready. She suffered so much. She would cry out in her sleep and I'd pray that she would not suffer. I always thought the systemic scleroderma would cause an organ failure but instead the CIDP attacked the organs. When she was in a state of continuous involuntary movements twitching and jumping and the therapy only lasted a day when it had been lasting a month...she felt herself slipping and said she felt better but also felt as though she lost a part of herself.

You are kind and I appreciate your kindness and understanding. I love her so much. She would open her eyes periodically in hospice on the morphine drip and was able to communicate and as the time approached would mouth "I love you". On the drip with valium bolus and other bolus I ordered, she was not suffering with pain or continuous twitching. She was still paralyzed but I would shift her, wash her with her favorite neutrogina and bath powder. I made sure the IV steroids and zophran were continued to the end and changed her clothes.

She would have done even better had I been the one to get sick instead.

That really lifted my spirits and I want you to know that I admire your advice and opinion. She was a big fan of liberals and Hillary Clinton and I suppose that lent me an ear to all of their ideas. I noticed there's always a ring of t***h in what you write especially, "The democrats care about people, the GOP cares about the rich". I think that another way of saying that is the libs believe in directly aiding folks while the cons believe a more indirect approach is more appropriate to avoid abuse.

I tend to believe the libs more the past few years in all that's happened in the nation, world-wide plus my wife's personal experience yet, I still have a belief that if you continue that approach to governing, people tend to take advantage and rely on it too much.

I think we can get to a median result that avoids over compensating both the rich and the needy (need a better explanation here, how can the needy be over compensated?).

Thank you, I guess I was ready to write about it and yes, definitely I still consider her my wife and that we are together in a bond despite the whole "to death do us part" thing.

Since last July, she's been amazing. I don't know how she fought it; where she got her strength? We figured things were looking up at the start of the new year. After making it through last 2015. She survived so many close calls the past eight years and last year was the hardest. She fought off an ICU stay and a mid-calf amputation. Previously, had 13 heart stents, a ruptured appendix resulting in a colostomy, so many PIC lines that failed she got a chest port installed and needed IV TPP while GI H-Pylori was addressed with IV antibiotics. Most of last year was on IV antibiotics for osteomyelitis and CRP and WBC was off the chart. Systemic Scleroderma, constant pain and dermis would peel off to the fascia, exposing tendons. Treated with multiple cadaver skin grafts and I'd dress wounds twice a day with either anacept gel, silvadene, iodosorb or wound vac depending on the wound condition. She hadn't been able to tolerate solid food, survived on Boost, yogurt, milkshakes and coffee with whipped cream for calories. The April 3rd hospitalization was just going to be routine blood t***sfusion and extra immunoglobulin and steroid therapy and come back home stronger, like all the other times treating CIDP.

Instead, the better part of April was a fight and the team of MDs exhausted all options and could no longer prevent the i****e s****m from attacking organs.

We were lucky that she got to say goodbye to family. I held her hand when it was her time.

We were lucky that we were together since age 15 and were never apart.

Life is very hard without her yet I know when the MD's had no advice and she felt and knew it was time, I wanted her to be relieved of suffering. I'd rather take the fight of living without her than have her continue to suffer. That helps but I lover her so much, I know we are lucky in many ways but I also suffer because we had reasoned and hoped for another chance to get by and move on to the next dream, next goal together.

Either way, it is a long-winded and defensive explanation.
I bet she's counting on all the long explanations so she can roll her eyes and simply say, "He's a con-man, a fraud".

So This Is Clinton Strategy 1 of 13: Trump Univ S**m, Fraudulant Billionaire Claim, Ethnic Phobia

Ok,
She hasn't even got the official nomination, which is not going to charm the Bern supporters who will likely v**e for Trump.
But all the while, she has revealed her early cards and has begun with:
1. "His own employees testified that Trump U. -- you can't make this up -- that Trump U. was a fraudulent scheme where Donald Trump enriched himself at the expense of hard-working people," Clinton said. "This is just more evidence that Donald Trump himself is a fraud." "He is trying to s**m America the way he s**mmed all those people at Trump U.," she added.
2. Mark Cuban (who we know is wanting to be considered for the VP position so it seems he wants some White House cabinet or important liberal White House appointment) is going all-in as a billionaire to all-out chastise and challenge that Trump is NOT a true billionaire (Fraud strike #2)
3. Next up is the Clinton nod (or maybe not Clinton as much as probably Romney nod) to Megyn Kelly to "calling out" (basically challenging) Trump about using the words "He is Mexican and a h**er" to describe the Judge in the Trump University case. Don't look too good; Kelly could play that one all summer long.

Trump has always triumphed over such accusations.
How will he deal with this?

All's I'm saying is you can say and wish all you want but it won't make it so. There is nothing there but I understand those who keep holding on to false hopes rather than face the music because she has and is still blabbering around to everyone about it with grins and cheers.

People just don't care about email, twitter, facecook, etc.
If the government is involved, guaranteed that anything you do on email, twitter and stuff like that is forbidden and has to have government approval to government socialists employed by the government.
So I don't see that folks care much about Hillary Clinton and email specifically because no federal case has been made. Instead, it's just hearsay and opinion.
Even though she is a liberal running for president, there has to be something definitively criminal and folks don't see anything like that.


Something like that Weiner guy did. That was clearly criminal behavior using email, twitter, etc.

But stuff like not following government rules is about individual choice and always "Trumps" rules. Even the infidelity of Governor Mark Sanford is proof that liars are forgiven when they make a choice that follows their heart and conviction.

This is why email just won't be a big deal or even a little deal.

He has the full support of the Evangelical majority even though he will support Planned Parenthood and gay marriage.
He has the full support of Wall Street even though he will increase Wall Street taxes.

Obama destroyed conservatism and has prevented a conservative resurgence from all his EOs.

The majority of conservatives are betting that DJT will restore the country to us but will he?

He has a lot of conflicting public statements about conservatism.

I think the only thing he will really offer is the opposite demeanor of Obama:
-Where Obama is reserved, Trump will brag
-Where Obama stays silent until results occur, Trump will announce to the World what pans he has in the fire
-Where Obama praises other nations for going with his plan, Trump will denounce nations for not jumping on board

I don't think Trump will save or restore conservatism as much as he will market America to it's citizens.
That's what conservatives want first and foremost. We've already been destroyed in policy and laws so we want the feel good first and then policy and laws we'll get later because we have a Republican President to go along with a Republican Congress.

No duh Mitt, that's what it's all about. Get the most electable GOP candidate and then Mitch and Ryan will get the Donald on board and Donald can do his retractions and things he needs to do to stay popular with Congress.

That is unless the Presidency goes to his head.

But why do so many think they will be the one to be a snake charmer? Maybe a bite will change a mind?