Pelosi Wants Rats Declared Endangered Species

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has made a formal request to the Department of the Interior to have rats declared an endangered species. According to Speaker Pelosi, rats suffer disproportionately from the g****l w*****g that is going to destroy all life on Earth in the next year or two.

“Humans, at least, can turn on air conditioners to get some relief from the affects of the fifty degree increase in temperature that we are experiencing,” the Speaker said, “but can you just imagine how terrible it must be for the rats that live inside the walls that are baked by the sun all day long? By having rats declared an endangered species, we can then pass laws mandating that all houses be moved into the shade, and that all exterior walls be air conditioned.”

“Also, it is cruel to make these poor creatures forage for scraps of food when humans have so much. We need another new law forcing people to feed all of the four legged guests they have in their homes, not just dogs and cats.”

“Finally,” she said, “we need to punish speech that conveys a negative image of rats. Term like ‘Dirty Rat’ and ‘Rat Bas**rd’ must be declared ‘H**e Speech’ and punished severely. We simply can’t, as a Nation, permit people to go around disparaging our furry friends. We have to get our priorities straight!”

“And while we are at it,” said Pelosi, “let’s not forget about the cockroaches! They have a right to a decent and secure life also. We have legislation in the works right now that would make it a Federal offense to k**l one of these sweet and helpless little creatures. The proposed law would impose a twenty years jail sentence for the first offense.”

“A certain violent and lawless element in our society sees nothing evil about cruelly stepping on these tiny creatures any time they see them. That is murder, plain and simple, and these people must be brought to justice.”

In closing, Pelosi went on to heap praise on new legislation providing Federal funding to guarantee every woman the right to a******n on demand, including the absolute right to have near-term a******ns performed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

Sorry, I just noticed this. I have been retired for almost six years, but suffice it to say, the Wall Street of today is not the Wall Street I remember from my earliest years there. A new element has wormed its way in and changed it into the object of derision that it is today.

I can't argue with your logic here, Rick. Ideally, we could begin the proceedings now, in order to totally distract Obama, and then stretch out the proceedings until after the new Senators take office.

President Barack Hussein Obama, in a White House ceremony, awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor to Sgt. (Pvt?) Bowe Bergdahl. The Medal of Honor is this Nation’s highest military award, and it is bestowed in recognition of “Valor Above and Beyond the Call of Duty”.

When reporters pointed out to President Obama that Bergdahl appears to have been a deserter, which would make it seem inappropriate to award him our highest military honor, Obama responded by saying Bergdahl’s desertion was exactly the point behind his decision.

“After all” the President said, “desertion in time of war carries the death penalty, so for Bergdahl to have deserted anyway certainly demonstrates the kind of ‘Valor Above and Beyond the Call of Duty’ that is the basis for awarding the Medal.”
Obama also commented that he hoped to award some type of medal to Bergdahl’s mother, but only if he could pin it on her chest himself.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

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WOW! It looks like I opened the floodgates. What all this goes to prove is the intensity of people's feelings on this subject.

I totally agree that Obama should be impeached. However, this is not the time. Yes, in all probably the House would v**e for Impeachment, but the trial has to be conducted in the Senate, and, as the Senate is presently constituted, he would be found "not guilty". All we would do in that scenario is to hand him a victory.

We must wait until after the November e******ns. And, even if the Republicans succeed in taking the Senate, we must still wait for the newly elected Senators to take their seats. That is the only way we can hope to win and finally be rid of this creature who is destroying the America I love.