North Pole warns of pilot shortage as reindeer leave for commercial sleigh lines
Cat Astronaut | Duffelblog


SANTA’S WORKSHOP — The North Pole is in the midst of a readiness crisis as it struggles to fill its pilot ranks with qualified reindeer, who are leaving the service in record numbers to work at commercial sleighlines, sources confirmed today.

Santa Claus claims he has only 75 percent of the deerpower he needs to deliver presents this year, especially in crucial heavy lift squadrons.

“This is truly alarming. There is no way I’ll be able to deliver presents to all the good girls and boys, let alone coal to all the naughty ones,” said Claus. “The reindeer we do have are being worked to the antler, flying three or four gumdrop sorties a day.”

Santa is offering hefty incentive bonuses to keep reindeer from leaving for more lucrative jobs at commercial sleighlines like Hoofthansa. But even offers of triple helpings of moss and herbs are not enough to keep them in the service. Unless he can fix the retention problem soon, Santa says he might have to cancel Christmas across large swaths of North and South America.


“We’re trying to do more with less, but the fact is that’s impossible,” said Lt. Col. Rudolph, commander of Red Squadron. “With this Op Tempo, my guys already refuse to fly over Detroit and Chicago. It’s just too dangerous.”

The average reindeer costs about $1 million and takes 3 years to train, according to North Pole figures. The North Pole needs to keep those ruminants in its ranks past their initial commitment to maximize return on its investment.

“Not only are large numbers of reindeer getting out, our best reindeer are getting out,” said Rudolph. “Donner and Blitzen dropped papers last week, and Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen all took private jobs at Doeing testing unmanned sleighs.”

While Claus increasingly has been filling the ranks with unmanned aerial sleighs (UASs), turnover among the elves who pilot them has also been an issue.

“These UAS pilots are always on the clock, delivering presents to hundreds of houses an hour from thousands of miles away,” he said. “Nobody can handle that much Christmas cheer. Nobody.”

https://www.duffelblog.com/...

There's plenty of h**e oozing from the democrats. I'm s**k of both parties and the pervasive "us vs them" mentality. Each side calls the other side t*****rs. Its become almost comical in its absurdity.

Something has to change. Trump isn't the disease, he's a symptom of the disease. If democrats had had their act together he'd never have been elected in the first place. What have they done to strengthen their party? Virtually nothing.

I v**ed third party because neither candidate was any good. You have to ask how we ended up with them in the first place.

Muslim Bookstore



Muslim Bookstore

So, I was walking in the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim Bookstore.

The sign outside led me to wonder just what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the evil stink eye, but then asked if he could help me.

I know I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's Book on his U.S. Immigration policy regarding Muslims and I*****l a***ns?”

The clerk said, “Kiss my ass, Get out, and Stay Out!” I said, “Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

Sorry to hear that, they weren't that glorious because I only remember the good things. They were my 40s and 50s. 9 to 20 were my cowboy days and 20 to 40 were my military days. Different stages and different memories. Make good memories so you can enjoy them again when you get old or older.

Ha-ha, haven't heard that one in a loooong time. You'd be amazed what inmates can cook up from items purchased in the prison commissary or five finger discount (steal) from the chow hall. Some are simply amazing. After Thanksgiving and Christmas, we always had a few drunks. They save the fruit to make hooch and brew it in a mop bucket. Never saw a mean drunk inmate. The frying pan is an upside down iron propped up by books. Necessity is the mother of invention. Some tattoo guns are works of art and so are some weapons. We had to ask that toothbrush handles be cut in half so they couldn't be modified for knives/shanks with razor blades in them. Never a dull moment in the Hard Rock Criminal Institute of bad habits.