Elwood Loc: Florida

To my golfer friends.






A Happy New Year to one and all

In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White
And Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry.
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows .... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.


A recent study found the average golfer
walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average,
22 gallons of alcohol a Year.

That means, on average,/golfers
get about 41miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud.
Makes you almost feel like a hybrid.






:lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:thumbup: :lol: To paraphrase Mark Twain, "Gold is a good walk...gone bad."

Yesterday, I was hitting the woods really well. Getting out of the woods and back onto the fairway was a problem. :oops: :hunf:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop

That reminds me why I gave it up. The golf. Not the beer.

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

'It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in a major league baseball career. It took me one afternoon of golf'.....Hank Aaron.

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

"They call it golf because all other 4-letter words were taken." [quote/Raymond Floyd]

Elwood Loc: Florida

:thumbup: :thumbup: :-D

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

"Golf is best described as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle." [quote/SergioGarcia]

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

'Isn't it fun to go out on the (golf) course and lie in the sun?" [quote/BobHope]

Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop

:lol: :lol: I know the feeling. :roll:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

"Golf is a lot of walking broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic." [unknown duffer :wink: ]

Al-ien

This past summer, my friend and I joined two other golfers for round. As we approached the 11 th green, that was next to the road, a funeral went by. One of the other golfer's stopped and stood with his head held low and his hand on his heart. I asked why he did that. He said "out of respect, I was married to her for 42 years"

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:lol: :thumbup: :lol:

"While playing golf today, I hit only two good balls...I stepped on a rake." {quote/HennyYoungman]