"The first five days after the weekend are the hardest" and other pre-Monday humor
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”
John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”
John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (
show quote)
These are wonderful. i gotta print 'em.
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”
John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (
show quote)
Coming from one who habitually uses quotes in given situations, these are excellent.
The first one...Twain's, seems to be addressing politicians.
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”
John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (
show quote)
I'll be darned that sounds an awful lot like some people I work with
greenmountaineer wrote:
These are wonderful. i gotta print 'em.
Yes, definitely fun. Thank you.
slatten49 wrote:
Coming from one who habitually uses quotes in given situations, these are excellent.
The first one...Twain's, seems to be addressing politicians.
Thank you, slatten, my thought exactly.
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”
John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (
show quote)
Mark Twain : " Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. "
If I worked with you, you could be sure of it.
Here is my all time favorite Mark Twain quote. " When I was 14 I thought my Father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years. "
Everyone of the statements is accurate.
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