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"The first five days after the weekend are the hardest" and other pre-Monday humor
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Oct 28, 2019 13:29:36   #
Pariahjf
 
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never k**led anybody...but why take a chance?”

John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”

Drew Carey: “Oh, you h**e your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”

Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.

Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (show quote)



Thanks for the laughs!!! Appreciated...

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Oct 28, 2019 17:18:11   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
Here is my all time favorite Mark Twain quote. " When I was 14 I thought my Father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years. "


Yes, also one of my favorites. So ironically subtle.

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Oct 28, 2019 17:19:18   #
rumitoid
 
Rose42 wrote:
Good ones.


Thank you. We should do this more often, lol.

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Oct 28, 2019 17:32:09   #
rumitoid
 
Pariahjf wrote:
Thanks for the laughs!!! Appreciated...


You're welcome.

Reply
Oct 28, 2019 18:04:17   #
Fit2BTied Loc: Texas
 
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never k**led anybody...but why take a chance?”

John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”

Drew Carey: “Oh, you h**e your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”

Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.

Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (show quote)
Words to live (work) by.

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Oct 28, 2019 18:11:45   #
rumitoid
 
Fit2BTied wrote:
Words to live (work) by.


Haha, yes.

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Oct 29, 2019 11:40:01   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Yes, also one of my favorites. So ironically subtle.


One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.


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Oct 29, 2019 21:07:36   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.



Very funny. I saw something recently in that same vein. Titles on two bathrooms in a restaurant: one is "Blah" and the other is "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." There should be no confusion about g****r, lol.

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Oct 30, 2019 19:42:28   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Very funny. I saw something recently in that same vein. Titles on two bathrooms in a restaurant: one is "Blah" and the other is "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." There should be no confusion about g****r, lol.


Poor Mark Twain. So much of his writings would be banned today.

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Oct 31, 2019 21:23:36   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.



Funny!

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