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And these people will be voting soon...
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Apr 26, 2019 18:13:01   #
eagleye13 Loc: Fl
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
Note: this is not my personal story, it was sent to me by a friend.
__________________________________

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!

I'm STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!
Note: this is not my personal story, it was sent t... (show quote)


Keep using those $2 bills.
After all the D's are still counting on $3 bills.

Reply
Apr 26, 2019 19:31:25   #
Smedley_buzkill
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
You’re going to have to take that up with NPP, I was only following what I thought was acceptable.

Could we maybe shorten that up to, GFA’s?


That would be acceptable; since if anyone does not like it we can change it to GFY easily enough.

Reply
Apr 26, 2019 19:44:24   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
You’re going to have to take that up with NPP, I was only following what I thought was acceptable.

Could we maybe shorten that up to, GFA’s?


Personally I rather like geriatric flatulence artiste. Excellent choice, leave it that way.

NPP

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Apr 26, 2019 20:44:45   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Personally I rather like geriatric flatulence artiste. Excellent choice, leave it that way.

NPP

no n p
If Slat gets a whiff of flatulence he will take over this post


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Apr 27, 2019 07:31:36   #
The Critical Critic Loc: Turtle Island
 
eagleye13 wrote:
Keep using those $2 bills.
After all the D's are still counting on $3 bills.


Lol, seems that is almost always the case. Maybe it’s the limit of their counting abilities.

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Apr 27, 2019 07:34:11   #
The Critical Critic Loc: Turtle Island
 
Smedley_buzkill wrote:
That would be acceptable; since if anyone does not like it we can change it to GFY easily enough.


Excellent! And NPP appears to be on board. And yes, that would be a simple enough change. Lol.

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Apr 27, 2019 08:17:32   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
badbobby wrote:
no n p
If Slat gets a whiff of flatulence he will take over this post



Don't worry. Slats is too busy practicing his beer belches to be too concerned. don't forget I faxed him a case of beer the other day, and you know the results of beer drinking, I am sure.

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