I can't stand the thought of losing all that extra income to cover mine and the Sgt. Major's frivolous discretionary spending. I need a larger pontoon fishing boat. However, I will forgive your debts to me, and understand why you would like to think it was the reverse.

Drinking Jack Daniels excessively will do that to one's mind, I guess.

Our own BadBobby found himself at the Pearly Gates. However, the gates were closed as he approached St. Peter.

St. Peter said, "Well, BadBobby, it is certainly good to see you, as we have heard a lot about your life. I must tell you though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

BadBobby responds, "It sure is good to be here, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, BB, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" Second: How many seconds are there in a year? And third: What is God's first name?"

BadBobby leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

BadBobby replied, "Well, the first one...which two days in the week begins with the letter T? Shucks, that would be Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "BB, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?"

"How many seconds in a year?" BB recalled. "Now, that one is a bit harder...but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? BB, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

BadBobby replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind...but, I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question: Can you tell me God's first name?"

"Sure," BB replied. "It's Andy."

"Andy!?!" Exclaimed the exasperated and frustrated gatekeeper. "Okay, I can understand how you came up with the answers to my earlier questions, but jut how in the world did you come up with the name 'Andy' as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all. BadBobby answered. I learnt it from the song..."Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own."

Giving up, St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said "Come on in, BB...come on in."

Speaking of Heaven...seems Marines have an advantage....

Here is how it all began....

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. In the Beginning was God--and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So, God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. And the earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these He filled with many assorted creatures.

And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors, and He dressed them accordingly.

And the flighty creatures of the air He called airmen. And these, He clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and foul.

And the lower creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God gave them trousers too short, and covers too large, and pockets to warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges. And He gave them cords. And He gave them ribbons...and patches...and stars...and bells. He gave them emblems...and crests...and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled. When You're God, you tend to get carried away in a big way.

And, on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy...God was not happy!

So, He thought about His labors, and in His infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this He called a Marine. And these Marines whom God created in His own image, were to be of the air, the land, and the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms.

He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.

He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, that they might be sharp, and ready...

And, He gave them evening and dress uniforms. Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so they might profile with the ladies on Saturday night, and impress the Hell outta everybody.

And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth, and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing...He did not have a Marine uniform! But He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied Himself in knowing that, well, not everybody can be a Marine...


This makes me wonder how BB's gon'na squeeze in, short of having a few well-placed Marines (such as Salty & myself) to help him along.