Feces face: While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped a... (show quote)

Thanks for sharing, but it could have been worse. It could have been me falling face down into...uh...a mess.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

lpnmajor wrote:

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped a... (show quote)

So glad you are not a rancher, lpn!!!!!

archie bunker Loc: Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped a... (show quote)

Thank goodness you weren't injured!

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

lpnmajor wrote:

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped a... (show quote)

Perhaps the dogs consider it a gift of wonderful purportions just for you. After all most dogs are happy to roll in it, and many consider it a wonderful snack.

bilordinary Loc: SW Washington

I commend you, you have certainly grown out of the age of embarrassment!

lpnmajor wrote:

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped and fell down. I guess I'm explaining in which direction I fell, to indicate that gravity was still working at the time. Needless to say, the ground stopped me from falling all the way through the planet. In any case, once I stopped bouncing, I immediately noticed a rather rank smell, a familiar smell. Yep, you guessed it - dog poo - into a pile of which my face was resting. I have 7 dogs, so the odds were pretty good that this would happen if ever my face came into contact with the ground, a situation I usually try to avoid. Now I know why for realz.

I did discover something new out of this experience and that is; no matter what you do, the smell of canine butt cookies will remain for at least 24 hours. No matter how much soap, bleach, paint thinner or gasoline one's face is scrubbed with, the smell remains. Nasal lavage with vinegar, bleach and ammonia is equally ineffective at eliminating the smell of dog dukey from one's face, you just have to wear it out.

Now I'm convinced that my dogs elaborate dump site hunt, is them playing the odds in their heads, about where I'm likely to do a face plant. I don't know which of them won the betting pool this time, but I notice them all sitting on the deck watching, with innocent looks on their faces, when I regained my feet. I've watched them pretty carefully, to see if I could spot one of them in a particularly chipper mood, but so far, they're all playing it safe - but I know better. I was not aware that dogs could laugh, but I'm sure that is the sound I was hearing as I entered the house after my feces face episode. It was not my wife, this time, as she wasn't home at the time, or she'd have been accused - of the laughing, not the crapping in the yard, I haven't caught her doing that yet.

Don't think this can't happen to you either, as dogs are equal opportunity terrorists, leaving IED's, Improvised Exposed Doo doo mines for anyone to slam their faces into, and the more animals you have, the greater the odds that you'll become a victim. BTW, cats are worse - they cover their feline fecal mines with a few leaves to hide them from casual observation. I have 3 cats, so my odds of another feces face episode are quite high. Maybe, I'll just stay indoors from now on, or at least, use my cane. The more I think about it, the more the latter sounds good - at least I can knock those "innocent" looks off a few faces in retribution.

While wondering around in my backyard, I tripped a... (show quote)

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

Man's best friend just gave you a gift...One that keeps on giving too...

Watch your step next time your outside in your yard......

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

lindajoy wrote:

Man's best friend just gave you a gift...One that keeps on giving too...

Watch your step next time your outside in your yard......

Yeah - one step for man, a giant source of entertainment for the dogs ( and the neighbors ). I wish my animals didn't love me quite so much and leave fewer gifts. The cats leave me headless rodents, at the front door, outside the bedroom door and occasionally in my chair. Oh, and the dogs sometimes leave a doodie trap right outside my bedroom door, but I'm wise to that now - until I forget again.

sweetlips

you want to remove odors such as this? Get a piece of sterling silver or an old silver coin and use it and soap and water to wash with

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

sweetlips wrote:

you want to remove odors such as this? Get a piece of sterling silver or an old silver coin and use it and soap and water to wash with

I prefer to bath in gold, at least, in my head.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

Yeah - one step for man, a giant source of entertainment for the dogs ( and the neighbors ). I wish my animals didn't love me quite so much and leave fewer gifts. The cats leave me headless rodents, at the front door, outside the bedroom door and occasionally in my chair. Oh, and the dogs sometimes leave a doodie trap right outside my bedroom door, but I'm wise to that now - until I forget again.

Ahhh! There is nothing quite like the feeling of cold poo squishing between your toes first thing in the morning!

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

lpnmajor wrote:

Yeah - one step for man, a giant source of entertainment for the dogs ( and the neighbors ). I wish my animals didn't love me quite so much and leave fewer gifts. The cats leave me headless rodents, at the front door, outside the bedroom door and occasionally in my chair. Oh, and the dogs sometimes leave a doodie trap right outside my bedroom door, but I'm wise to that now - until I forget again.

Lololololokol

I

I soooo love your humor!!!! Ya nut!!
As for the headless rodents uhmmmmm YUKKKKKKKKK

Big dog

PaulPisces wrote:

So glad you are not a rancher, lpn!!!!!

Cow pies smell better than pooch poop.

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

lindajoy wrote:

Lololololokol

I

I soooo love your humor!!!! Ya nut!!
As for the headless rodents uhmmmmm YUKKKKKKKKK

Chaos, the Welsh Terrier left me a great present yesterday, the remains of a woodchuck spread out on the back deck. At least that will be one less woodchuck eating our garden next summer.

georgejc Loc: discovery bay, california

Certainly an analogy.
We have been lying face down in Democratic poo poo for eight years, and liberal poo poo even longer. But, fear not, if anyone can, Trump will get us out.