I finally got my head together--but now my body's falling apart

Time may be a great healer--but it's a lousy beautician

Life not only begins at forty--it begins to show

If at first you don't succeed --ask if the loser gets anything

As we age more ,we don't get hot flashes--we get power surges

If a pig loses it's voice--is it disgruntled?

Why do we recite at a play--and play at a recital?

If you spin an Oriental around--does he get disoriented?

An Amish woman asked for a divorce--her husband was driving her buggy

A lot of folks are scared of heights--mot me--I'm scared of widths

The gene pool could use some chlorine

Make it i***t proof--and along comes a smarter i***t

I wouldn't be caught dead--with a necrophiliac

He who laughs last--is the slowest thinker

Give me ambiguity or give me something else

Hard work has future payoff--laziness pays off now

Where there's a will--I want to be in it

WE are born naked,wet,and hungry---then things get worse

laugh a lot --live a lot--love a lot