try to laugh a little --part 2
Nov 25, 2016 12:11:26 #
I finally got my head together--but now my body's falling apart
Time may be a great healer--but it's a lousy beautician
Life not only begins at forty--it begins to show
If at first you don't succeed --ask if the loser gets anything
As we age more ,we don't get hot flashes--we get power surges
If a pig loses it's voice--is it disgruntled?
Why do we recite at a play--and play at a recital?
If you spin an Oriental around--does he get disoriented?
An Amish woman asked for a divorce--her husband was driving her buggy
A lot of folks are scared of heights--mot me--I'm scared of widths
The gene pool could use some chlorine
Make it i***t proof--and along comes a smarter i***t
I wouldn't be caught dead--with a necrophiliac
He who laughs last--is the slowest thinker
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
Hard work has future payoff--laziness pays off now
Where there's a will--I want to be in it
WE are born naked,wet,and hungry---then things get worse
laugh a lot --live a lot--love a lot
Time may be a great healer--but it's a lousy beautician
Life not only begins at forty--it begins to show
If at first you don't succeed --ask if the loser gets anything
As we age more ,we don't get hot flashes--we get power surges
If a pig loses it's voice--is it disgruntled?
Why do we recite at a play--and play at a recital?
If you spin an Oriental around--does he get disoriented?
An Amish woman asked for a divorce--her husband was driving her buggy
A lot of folks are scared of heights--mot me--I'm scared of widths
The gene pool could use some chlorine
Make it i***t proof--and along comes a smarter i***t
I wouldn't be caught dead--with a necrophiliac
He who laughs last--is the slowest thinker
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
Hard work has future payoff--laziness pays off now
Where there's a will--I want to be in it
WE are born naked,wet,and hungry---then things get worse
laugh a lot --live a lot--love a lot
Nov 25, 2016 12:29:06 #
Nov 25, 2016 14:04:43 #
Nov 25, 2016 14:33:01 #
GmanTerry wrote:
Good ones.
I resemble several of them.
Semper Fi
I resemble several of them.
Semper Fi
I;m sorry
but don't worry
things will get worse
Nov 25, 2016 21:10:51 #
GmanTerry wrote:
Good ones.
I resemble several of them.
Semper Fi
I resemble several of them.
Semper Fi
You aren't alone.
Nov 26, 2016 11:51:13 #
When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.
I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
Time doesn't exist. Clocks exists.
My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts.
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
I got lost in thoughts. It was unfamiliar territory.
Sure, I'd love to help you out ... now, which way did you come in?
I would like to slip into something more comfortable - like a coma.
I started with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
There is no dance without the dancers.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
If you are here - who is running hell?
If nothing was learned, nothing was taught.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes...
The dogs bark but the caravan moves on. [Arabic saying]
Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Bombs don't k**l people, explosions k**l people.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.
Every organization is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.
And last but not least:
The Lone Ranger shot Tonto last night. He finally found out what Kemosabe means.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.
I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
Time doesn't exist. Clocks exists.
My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts.
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
I got lost in thoughts. It was unfamiliar territory.
Sure, I'd love to help you out ... now, which way did you come in?
I would like to slip into something more comfortable - like a coma.
I started with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
There is no dance without the dancers.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
If you are here - who is running hell?
If nothing was learned, nothing was taught.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes...
The dogs bark but the caravan moves on. [Arabic saying]
Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Bombs don't k**l people, explosions k**l people.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.
Every organization is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.
And last but not least:
The Lone Ranger shot Tonto last night. He finally found out what Kemosabe means.
Nov 26, 2016 12:54:21 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
When your only tool is a hammer, all problems star... (show quote)
are you through???
Nov 26, 2016 13:04:45 #
Nov 26, 2016 13:05:10 #
Nov 26, 2016 13:08:25 #
badbobby wrote:
are you through???
Not quite. Here's a couple more:
I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.
And finally:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
Nov 26, 2016 13:11:05 #
'Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?'
Tommy Cooper (1921-1984)
Tommy Cooper (1921-1984)
Nov 26, 2016 17:36:36 #
Nov 26, 2016 17:39:22 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
Not quite. Here's a couple more:
I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.
And finally:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.
And finally:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
just joshing you Larry
I appreciate your contribution
even tho it made mine look tiny
Nov 26, 2016 19:28:04 #
badbobby wrote:
just joshing you Larry
I appreciate your contribution
even tho it made mine look tiny
I appreciate your contribution
even tho it made mine look tiny
That's OK bb. Though yours may be 'tiny' in comparison they are treasured.
Nov 26, 2016 19:33:00 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
That's OK bb. Though yours may be 'tiny' in comparison they are treasured.
Thank you my Jarheadish friend
look I just coined a new word
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