I crapped my pants yesterday: Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because I can't control my bowels or am too lazy to find a toilet, I did it on purpose. You see, I was at Lowe's...

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because I can't control my bowels or am too lazy to find a toilet, I did it on purpose.

You see, I was at Lowe's and was in a hurry. There was one checker and 8 people in front of me. I decided to scat my skivvies and - sure enough - within 30 seconds - I was the next customer to check out and did so in record time.

Sometimes being old and crippled has it's uses. BTW, I keep an old tarp in the truck, so didn't "mess" up my seats on the way home. I did discover one drawback to my plan though - the smell is still in there. Oh well, sacrifices must be made - and I H**E waiting in line.

Next, I'm going to try this technique at Walmart. :lol:

Floyd Brown Loc: Milwaukee WI

lpnmajor wrote:

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because ... (show quote)

I know that it is hard to avoid moments like that but a little internal control of the issue & a well mapped plan of facilities can be of help.

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because ... (show quote)

Will not work at walmart.......do not go there often, but when i do it seems i am always stuck in line with a goat herder that thinks a bath is an anual thing :-D

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Weewillynobeerspilly wrote:

Will not work at walmart.......do not go there often, but when i do it seems i am always stuck in line with a goat herder that thinks a bath is an anual thing :-D

Let's hope with Doc (Lpnmajor) the bath ends up being an anal thing. :oops: :lol:

Sorry to be crappy about it, Doc, but you started it :!: :wink:

the waker Loc: 11th freest nation

lpnmajor wrote:

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because ... (show quote)

Major, I think a little bit of crap is the least of the worries when shopping at Wal-Mart :shock:

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

By all means, take the show on the road !!!!!

lpnmajor wrote:

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because ... (show quote)

archie bunker Loc: Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

Yep, I dropped a deuce in my Dickies. Not because ... (show quote)

This is hilarious!! :thumbup:
I showed it to the wife, and she seemed kinda mad. When I gave the customary 'what?'
She said: and I quote: "That isn't funny! I can see you doing that!"
Maybe she will think twice before d**gging me around a crowded store now! Thanks!

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

slatten49 wrote:

Let's hope with Doc (Lpnmajor) the bath ends up being an anal thing. :oops: :lol:

Sorry to be crappy about it, Doc, but you started it :!: :wink:

Being a little facetious are we? Oh, sorry, that was me. Yep, I can see this becoming an anal event. Oh, you, meant the bath didn't you. I misunderstood again.

I guess it's back to my coloring book and my crapola crayons.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

the waker wrote:

Major, I think a little bit of crap is the least of the worries when shopping at Wal-Mart :shock:

Well, you ruined THAT venue for me. :shock:

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

archie bunker wrote:

This is hilarious!! :thumbup:
I showed it to the wife, and she seemed kinda mad. When I gave the customary 'what?'
She said: and I quote: "That isn't funny! I can see you doing that!"
Maybe she will think twice before d**gging me around a crowded store now! Thanks!

You are quite welcome! Btw, the way I encouraged the wife to let me wander Lowes by myself - was my loud and frequent farts. I also don't have to go to JCP's, shoe shopping, cloths shopping, most family outings, church.................

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

The remarks here are hysterical..lp your a nut and Archie, you shouldn't be tellen secrets~~~lolol :thumbup: :thumbup:

BearK Loc: TN

archie bunker wrote:

This is hilarious!! :thumbup:
I showed it to the wife, and she seemed kinda mad. When I gave the customary 'what?'
She said: and I quote: "That isn't funny! I can see you doing that!"
Maybe she will think twice before d**gging me around a crowded store now! Thanks!

Give her that innocent look, and say, "The devil made me do it."

Really smelly bit of gas, may work as well. Don't tell her I'm giving you ideas.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

BearK wrote:

Give her that innocent look, and say, "The devil made me do it."

Really smelly bit of gas, may work as well. Don't tell her I'm giving you ideas.

Really, Aunt Bea :?: :shock: :roll: :lol:

BearK Loc: TN

slatten49 wrote:

Really, Aunt Bea :?: :shock: :roll: :lol:

I couldn't help it, you know how the devil works???

I was in line at the post office one day, and I know it was the fellow ahead of me - he let a SBD. It was bad - I turned to start talking to the lady behind me. Afterall, I didn't want anyone to think it was me so I brought it to her attention by saying, "Oh boy, it smells like someone passed an SBD."

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

BearK wrote:

I couldn't help it, you know how the devil works???

I was in line at the post office one day, and I know it was the fellow ahead of me - he let a SBD. It was bad - I turned to start talking to the lady behind me.

Good move, young lady as..."this, too, shall pass." :mrgreen: