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Southern joke, from a proud t***splanted former northerner
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Aug 14, 2015 13:53:35   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
rocketride wrote:
Because nobody ever said "Paddle faster, I hear oboes".







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Aug 14, 2015 14:22:15   #
vernon
 
no propaganda please wrote:
We are still using the Samsonite that we got from SWMBO's dad many years ago. Yes, we also have a couple of fabric pieces but nothing made of carpet.


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Aug 14, 2015 14:24:17   #
vernon
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Would not go back there, even to be buried but you made a nasty comment about us northerners invading your space. Much prefer it down here, better people, and more privacy, and usually better weather.



well it sounds like you have a problem.

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Aug 14, 2015 14:59:23   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
vernon wrote:
well it sounds like you have a problem.


Why do you think that?

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Aug 14, 2015 15:03:18   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
rocketride wrote:
Because nobody ever said "Paddle faster, I hear oboes".


I have a t shirt that says "paddle faster, I hear banjos" and I were it to some of the local festivals. Love the looks i get on occasion.

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 16:14:05   #
Theo Loc: Within 1000 miles of Tampa, Florida
 
no propaganda please wrote:
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me".

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.


Now, all you wonderful Southerners, please don't get offended, it IS just a joke.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple d... (show quote)


Oh! Sure! NOW you tell me. Next time put THAT part at the beginning. OWYyyy!!!

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Aug 14, 2015 18:03:01   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me".

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.


Now, all you wonderful Southerners, please don't get offended, it IS just a joke.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple d... (show quote)


offended???
YAWHAW
I loved it :lol: :lol:

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 18:05:37   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
vernon wrote:
i could care less,but you have to be crazy to go back to chicago with out at least a vest.


hey np
you know that old adage
"you can go to hell
i'll go to texas" :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 18:08:43   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Weewillynobeerspilly wrote:
Damn, double post, arggggggg


willy
you are now a full pledged member of the "double post club"
be proud :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 21:40:55   #
wuzblynd Loc: thomson georgia
 
no propaganda please wrote:
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me".

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.


Now, all you wonderful Southerners, please don't get offended, it IS just a joke.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple d... (show quote)





Good! No offence taken. Welcome my northern brother.

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 21:46:58   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
wuzblynd wrote:
Good! No offence taken. Welcome my northern brother.


Thank you. Somehow SWMBO and I have felt more at home here than Chicago right from the beginning. Didn't take us long to feel at home here. It is funny though, after 20 years we are still referred to as "The new people".

Reply
Aug 14, 2015 22:22:09   #
Grugore
 
Weewillynobeerspilly wrote:
My wife is from Bama....it's not a joke
:D banjos everywhere


Paddle faster! I hear banjo's!

Hmmm. Looks like NPP stole my thunder. :hunf:

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