no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS


An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.'

bahmer

Good one.

Zeno Loc: Omaha NE

VERY funny.

BearK Loc: TN

NPP I really liked this one, laughed more than at the others. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

badbobby Loc: texas

lmao :thumbup: :thumbup:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

An 'oldie' but still a 'goodie'. :lol: :thumbup:

badbobby Loc: texas

sadly
not as old as we poppa

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

I know that this has been around for a while, but it still appeals to me. Glad you liked it.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Shhhhh. Speak for yourself, but you don't have to give us away. What will the young lovelies think if they find out before meeting us and discovering our irresistible charm and savoir-faire?

badbobby Loc: texas

soon as I determine what that savoir-faire is I will take this
a lil farther
and of course what fair damsel could resist our charm??

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

I must admit, a squid and a jarhead in tandem is a difficult, almost impossible, combination to overcome.

badbobby Loc: texas

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

jaydee

About right.

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

While driving through the countryside to a sales appointment this salesman noticed a nice farm not far from the highway.
As he passed the farm he noticed a pig was on a chain close to the house. He did a double take as he noticed the pig had a wooden leg.
His curiosity got the best of him so he decided to turn around and look into the reason this pig would have a peg leg.
He pulled into the driveway and walked to the door and knocked. This elderly man opened the door and asked the salesman if he could help him.
The salesman said, I don’t mean to be a bother but I noticed you have a pig with a peg leg.
The farmer said yes, that is a very, very special pig and he has a history.

He went on to say, one day my grandchildren were here and they we playing out in the field. Well the bull was in the field and he was a mean one. When he saw the kids he came charging towards them and this pig ran between the bull and the kids saving them from being hurt or k**led.

The salesman said wow what a pig. The farmer said well son, that is not the end of the story. The same afternoon the kids went to the pond to go swimming, my youngest granddaughter got into deep water and was in real trouble. Would you believe this same wonderful pig came running a jumped into the pond and swam out to my granddaughter, she grabbed on to his little tail and the pig brought her back to the bank saving her life.

The salesman once again said wow what a pig! But you haven’t told me how your pig got that wooden leg??
The farmer rubbed his chin and got a faraway look in his eyes, there was ever a glisten of a tear, he said you know this pig was just so wonderful that we couldn’t bear to eat him all at once………

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Excellent
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: