Those are great. Reminds me of this which I've posted before -

God Summoned A Beast

God summoned the beast from the field and He said
"Behold, man is created in my image. Therefore adore him.
You shall protect him in the wilderness,
shepherd his flocks, watch over his children,
accompany him wherever he may go...
even into civilization.
You shall be his companion, his ally, his s***e."

"To do these things," God said, "I endow you with the
instincts uncommon to other beasts:
Faithfulness, Devotion and Understanding
surpassing those of man himself.
Lest it impair your courage,
you shall never foresee your death.
Lest it impair your loyalty,
you shall be blind to the faults of man.
Lest it impair your understanding,
you are denied the power of words.
Speak to your master only with your mind
and through your honest eyes."

"Walk by his side; sleep in his doorway;
ward off his enemies; carry his burden;
share his afflictions; love and comfort him.
And in return for this,
Man will fulfill your needs and wants...
which shall be only food, shelter and affection."

"So be silent and be a friend to man.
Guide him through the perils along the way
to this land I have promised him.
This shall be your destiny and your immortality."

So spoke the Lord.
And the dog heard, and was content.

"You can say an foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'you're right!' I never would've thought of that!" ---Dave Barry

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." ---unknown

"Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." ---unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." ---Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead." ---unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." ---Adolph Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." ---Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." ---Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul...chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest h****rs on earth!" ---Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." ---Rita Rudner

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." ---James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."-Nora Ephrom

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." ---Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." ---Robert A Heinlein

'In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." ---Dereke Bruce

"You can say an foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'you're right!' I never would've thought of that!" ---Dave Barry

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." ---unknown

"Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." ---unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." ---Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead." ---unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." ---Adolph Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." ---Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." ---Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul...chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest h****rs on earth!" ---Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." ---Rita Rudner

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." ---James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."-Nora Ephrom

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." ---Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." ---Robert A Heinlein

'In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." ---Dereke Bruce