NO NO NO. You people don't know how horrible it is to physically live forever. Let me, (as a two hundred and forty seven year old), tell you stories that should make you shiver just thinking of physically living forever BUT STILL AGING. On second thought no I won't. It could scare you into insanity. Pray for stores that sell all weapons of destruction so as to remove the possibility of physical life forever. It's our only hope. I'm living proof of the unknown physical and mental pain that awaits. Our sole hope is a return to our soul existence. Think about those apples. Good Lord, Adam and Eve and I are on a first name basis. Johnny Appleseed is looked upon as a hero but look at the damage and pain he has indirectly caused. Unknowingly do-gooders cause most of our problems. For every action there is a reaction; every coin has two sides, etc. I think the time has come for badbobby and me to meet, sip a little jack, and compare notes. It won't help anyone but what the heck.

BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.

According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.

"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that k**ls over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."

"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."

Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.

"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.

https://babylonbee.com/news/walmart-discontinues-sale-of-auto-parts-to-prevent-car-accidents

BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.

According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.

"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that k**ls over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."

"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."

Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.

"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.

https://babylonbee.com/news/walmart-discontinues-sale-of-auto-parts-to-prevent-car-accidents

BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.

According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.

"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that k**ls over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."

"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."

Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.

"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.

https://babylonbee.com/news/walmart-discontinues-sale-of-auto-parts-to-prevent-car-accidents

NO NO NO. You people don't know how horrible it is to physically live forever. Let me, (as a two hundred and forty seven year old), tell you stories that should make you shiver just thinking of physically living forever BUT STILL AGING. On second thought no I won't. It could scare you into insanity. Pray for stores that sell all weapons of destruction so as to remove the possibility of physical life forever. It's our only hope. I'm living proof of the unknown physical and mental pain that awaits. Our sole hope is a return to our soul existence. Think about those apples. Good Lord, Adam and Eve and I are on a first name basis. Johnny Appleseed is looked upon as a hero but look at the damage and pain he has indirectly caused. Unknowingly do-gooders cause most of our problems. For every action there is a reaction; every coin has two sides, etc. I think the time has come for badbobby and me to meet, sip a little jack, and compare notes. It won't help anyone but what the heck.