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And these people will be v****g soon...
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Apr 26, 2019 18:13:01   #
eagleye13 Loc: Fl
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
Note: this is not my personal story, it was sent to me by a friend.
__________________________________

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!

I'm STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's f**e!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some f**e bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's f**e.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look f**e to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an i***t and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an i***t. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be v****g soon!!?!

YIKES!!!
Note: this is not my personal story, it was sent t... (show quote)


Keep using those $2 bills.
After all the D's are still counting on $3 bills.

Reply
Apr 26, 2019 19:31:25   #
Smedley_buzkill
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
You’re going to have to take that up with NPP, I was only following what I thought was acceptable.

Could we maybe shorten that up to, GFA’s?


That would be acceptable; since if anyone does not like it we can change it to GFY easily enough.

Reply
Apr 26, 2019 19:44:24   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
The Critical Critic wrote:
You’re going to have to take that up with NPP, I was only following what I thought was acceptable.

Could we maybe shorten that up to, GFA’s?


Personally I rather like geriatric flatulence artiste. Excellent choice, leave it that way.

NPP

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Apr 26, 2019 20:44:45   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Personally I rather like geriatric flatulence artiste. Excellent choice, leave it that way.

NPP

no n p
If Slat gets a whiff of flatulence he will take over this post


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Apr 27, 2019 07:31:36   #
The Critical Critic Loc: Turtle Island
 
eagleye13 wrote:
Keep using those $2 bills.
After all the D's are still counting on $3 bills.


Lol, seems that is almost always the case. Maybe it’s the limit of their counting abilities.

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Apr 27, 2019 07:34:11   #
The Critical Critic Loc: Turtle Island
 
Smedley_buzk**l wrote:
That would be acceptable; since if anyone does not like it we can change it to GFY easily enough.


Excellent! And NPP appears to be on board. And yes, that would be a simple enough change. Lol.

Reply
Apr 27, 2019 08:17:32   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
badbobby wrote:
no n p
If Slat gets a whiff of flatulence he will take over this post



Don't worry. Slats is too busy practicing his beer belches to be too concerned. don't forget I faxed him a case of beer the other day, and you know the results of beer drinking, I am sure.

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