***********************************************
You might be a conservative if your......family tree doesn't fork.

or believe that Joseph McCarthy's whiskey-soaked likeness belongs on Mt. Rushmore.

or believe J. Edgar Hoover's private wardrobe was merely on loan from Liberace.

or believe the "country folks" from deliverance should be role models.

or enjoyed the ending of "Easy Rider".

or gullible enough to believe that your political opposition uses "playbooks" such as the writings of Marx or Alinsky. Just because you believe in using "playbooks", such as the bible, doesn't mean that others work off of very old fables.

Oh come on. Even if you disagree with Brian you have to admit he has a marvelous sense of humor.
I think poor jon was disappointed to come back and find things are starting to change here. I hope he gets the message. I tried to explain from my point of view how things seem to be changing in my opinion.
"Jon I don't know if you have noticed this since you have gotten back from your 2 week timeout but without you here destroying threads like someone who keeps picking at a sore and it wont heal. People have become more tolerant of each others opinions and some really good information is being swapped between both the left and the right. I know I have learned a lot lately.
Have you noticed the lack of responses you are getting? People are hitting the "unwatch" button and don't want bothered with your h**eful rants. H**e to tell you but you have lost your power to divide here and I seem to be the only one who will even toy with you now. I just thought I would bring this to your attention since sadly I seem to be the best friend you have here."

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favorite answers to:

You Might Be a Liberal If You...

...still have an "Obama 2012" bumper sticker on your car
- right next to your "Obama 2008" bumper sticker.

...believe that achieving a record low percentage of Americans working, and record high percentage of Americans on food stamps and other "public assistance," are indicators of a successful economic recovery model.

...feel that v***r f***d is a form of "social justice."

...are certain that any criticism of Obama is rooted in r****m.

...believe Bill Maher and Jon Stewart are "journalists," and everything on MTV and in the New York Times is "journalism."

...look like "a deer in the headlights" if anyone mentions our Constitution because that is just "right-wing rhetoric."

... rail against racial discrimination but staunchly support Affirmative Action.

...feel the grassroots Tea Party Movement is a collection of ignorant r****ts, but the "Occupy Wall Street" movement is a coalition of thoughtful and principled reformers.

...believe CNN and The New York Times are objective, but Fox News and The Wall Street Journal are biased.


...feel George Soros is a benevolent patriarch but the Koch brothers are evil incarnate.

...support redistribution of wealth, as long as it's not your wealth.

...use hash tags like #h**ewhitey, #taxtherich and #h**eTEA on Twitter.

...believe that our Constitution is "living" but unborn children are not.

...are tolerant of diverse opinions as long as they do not divert from your own.

...want the government out of our bedrooms unless they're providing free birth control and a******ns.

...feel people who are opposed to the redefinition of marriage, as Barack Obama was when elected, are bigots.

...feel the free market is where one goes to collect government handouts.

...have no idea that Franklin Roosevelt's "principle on taxation" was plagiarized from Karl Marx.

...still refer to Stalin as "Uncle Joe."

…believe that Che Guevara is a saint.

...know more than one vegan.

...oppose the death penalty for the most heinous of convicted criminals, while supporting the death penalty for the most innocent of unborn children.

...believe the only absolute in life is a brand of vodka.


...have joined Al Gore's cult of earth worshippers and feel "g****l w*****g" is all manmade.

...believe Oprah should be Obama's running mate in his third term.

...believe the phrase "separation of Church and State" is in the Constitution.

...reject the "paper or plastic" question because you're "bi-sacksual."

...feel that an open border with Mexico will provide you job security.

…believe jihadist Muslims are misunderstood peaceniks but Christians are cutthroat terrorists.

...protest against state censorship unless it's directed at anything "conservative."

...feel it's OK to require drug tests to keep a job but r****t to require drug tests for welfare recipients.

...feel it's OK to mandate IDs to withdraw your own money from your own bank while it's r****t to require IDs to v**e.

...believe that making a "gun-like finger gesture" in elementary school is cause for expulsion while body guards for l*****ts should be armed to the teeth.

...believe that parents should provide permission slips for middle-school field trips but not a******n referrals.


...believe that "clinging to guns and religion" is subversive anti-American behavior.

...believe that "the right to keep and bear arms" is an obstacle to Liberty rather than its best insurance policy, that "a well regulated m*****a" refers to the National Guard, and that "arms" refers only to shotguns and hunting rifles.

...feel Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden are heroes for stealing millions of classified documents and making them available to Russia and China.

...trust that Obama's IRS enemies list is fully justified.

...believe that altering the "B******i talking points" is an Italian automaker's revised marketing plan.

...believe Bill Clinton is the best spokesperson for the Democrats.

...don't have a problem with a twice-elected mixed-race president who spews r****t and classist rhetoric while living as the wealthiest of one-percenters.

...feel the primary objective of ObamaCare is to provide "affordable health care" to the uninsured.

...didn't know there are now 20 million more uninsured Americans now than when Obama took office.

...believe Barack Hussein Obama is trustworthy.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favorite answers to:

You Might Be a Liberal If You...

...still have an "Obama 2012" bumper sticker on your car
- right next to your "Obama 2008" bumper sticker.

...believe that achieving a record low percentage of Americans working, and record high percentage of Americans on food stamps and other "public assistance," are indicators of a successful economic recovery model.

...feel that v***r f***d is a form of "social justice."

...are certain that any criticism of Obama is rooted in r****m.

...believe Bill Maher and Jon Stewart are "journalists," and everything on MTV and in the New York Times is "journalism."

...look like "a deer in the headlights" if anyone mentions our Constitution because that is just "right-wing rhetoric."

... rail against racial discrimination but staunchly support Affirmative Action.

...feel the grassroots Tea Party Movement is a collection of ignorant r****ts, but the "Occupy Wall Street" movement is a coalition of thoughtful and principled reformers.

...believe CNN and The New York Times are objective, but Fox News and The Wall Street Journal are biased.


...feel George Soros is a benevolent patriarch but the Koch brothers are evil incarnate.

...support redistribution of wealth, as long as it's not your wealth.

...use hash tags like #h**ewhitey, #taxtherich and #h**eTEA on Twitter.

...believe that our Constitution is "living" but unborn children are not.

...are tolerant of diverse opinions as long as they do not divert from your own.

...want the government out of our bedrooms unless they're providing free birth control and a******ns.

...feel people who are opposed to the redefinition of marriage, as Barack Obama was when elected, are bigots.

...feel the free market is where one goes to collect government handouts.

...have no idea that Franklin Roosevelt's "principle on taxation" was plagiarized from Karl Marx.

...still refer to Stalin as "Uncle Joe."

…believe that Che Guevara is a saint.

...know more than one vegan.

...oppose the death penalty for the most heinous of convicted criminals, while supporting the death penalty for the most innocent of unborn children.

...believe the only absolute in life is a brand of vodka.


...have joined Al Gore's cult of earth worshippers and feel "g****l w*****g" is all manmade.

...believe Oprah should be Obama's running mate in his third term.

...believe the phrase "separation of Church and State" is in the Constitution.

...reject the "paper or plastic" question because you're "bi-sacksual."

...feel that an open border with Mexico will provide you job security.

…believe jihadist Muslims are misunderstood peaceniks but Christians are cutthroat terrorists.

...protest against state censorship unless it's directed at anything "conservative."

...feel it's OK to require drug tests to keep a job but r****t to require drug tests for welfare recipients.

...feel it's OK to mandate IDs to withdraw your own money from your own bank while it's r****t to require IDs to v**e.

...believe that making a "gun-like finger gesture" in elementary school is cause for expulsion while body guards for l*****ts should be armed to the teeth.

...believe that parents should provide permission slips for middle-school field trips but not a******n referrals.


...believe that "clinging to guns and religion" is subversive anti-American behavior.

...believe that "the right to keep and bear arms" is an obstacle to Liberty rather than its best insurance policy, that "a well regulated m*****a" refers to the National Guard, and that "arms" refers only to shotguns and hunting rifles.

...feel Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden are heroes for stealing millions of classified documents and making them available to Russia and China.

...trust that Obama's IRS enemies list is fully justified.

...believe that altering the "B******i talking points" is an Italian automaker's revised marketing plan.

...believe Bill Clinton is the best spokesperson for the Democrats.

...don't have a problem with a twice-elected mixed-race president who spews r****t and classist rhetoric while living as the wealthiest of one-percenters.

...feel the primary objective of ObamaCare is to provide "affordable health care" to the uninsured.

...didn't know there are now 20 million more uninsured Americans now than when Obama took office.

...believe Barack Hussein Obama is trustworthy.