You Might Be a Liberal If You.......
Apr 2, 2014 14:29:53 #
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favorite answers to:
You Might Be a Liberal If You...
...still have an "Obama 2012" bumper sticker on your car
- right next to your "Obama 2008" bumper sticker.
...believe that achieving a record low percentage of Americans working, and record high percentage of Americans on food stamps and other "public assistance," are indicators of a successful economic recovery model.
...feel that v***r f***d is a form of "social justice."
...are certain that any criticism of Obama is rooted in r****m.
...believe Bill Maher and Jon Stewart are "journalists," and everything on MTV and in the New York Times is "journalism."
...look like "a deer in the headlights" if anyone mentions our Constitution because that is just "right-wing rhetoric."
... rail against racial discrimination but staunchly support Affirmative Action.
...feel the grassroots Tea Party Movement is a collection of ignorant r****ts, but the "Occupy Wall Street" movement is a coalition of thoughtful and principled reformers.
...believe CNN and The New York Times are objective, but Fox News and The Wall Street Journal are biased.
...feel George Soros is a benevolent patriarch but the Koch brothers are evil incarnate.
...support redistribution of wealth, as long as it's not your wealth.
...use hash tags like #h**ewhitey, #taxtherich and #h**eTEA on Twitter.
...believe that our Constitution is "living" but unborn children are not.
...are tolerant of diverse opinions as long as they do not divert from your own.
...want the government out of our bedrooms unless they're providing free birth control and a******ns.
...feel people who are opposed to the redefinition of marriage, as Barack Obama was when elected, are bigots.
...feel the free market is where one goes to collect government handouts.
...have no idea that Franklin Roosevelt's "principle on taxation" was plagiarized from Karl Marx.
...still refer to Stalin as "Uncle Joe."
believe that Che Guevara is a saint.
...know more than one vegan.
...oppose the death penalty for the most heinous of convicted criminals, while supporting the death penalty for the most innocent of unborn children.
...believe the only absolute in life is a brand of vodka.
...have joined Al Gore's cult of earth worshippers and feel "g****l w*****g" is all manmade.
...believe Oprah should be Obama's running mate in his third term.
...believe the phrase "separation of Church and State" is in the Constitution.
...reject the "paper or plastic" question because you're "bi-sacksual."
...feel that an open border with Mexico will provide you job security.
believe jihadist Muslims are misunderstood peaceniks but Christians are cutthroat terrorists.
...protest against state censorship unless it's directed at anything "conservative."
...feel it's OK to require drug tests to keep a job but r****t to require drug tests for welfare recipients.
...feel it's OK to mandate IDs to withdraw your own money from your own bank while it's r****t to require IDs to v**e.
...believe that making a "gun-like finger gesture" in elementary school is cause for expulsion while body guards for l*****ts should be armed to the teeth.
...believe that parents should provide permission slips for middle-school field trips but not a******n referrals.
...believe that "clinging to guns and religion" is subversive anti-American behavior.
...believe that "the right to keep and bear arms" is an obstacle to Liberty rather than its best insurance policy, that "a well regulated m*****a" refers to the National Guard, and that "arms" refers only to shotguns and hunting rifles.
...feel Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden are heroes for stealing millions of classified documents and making them available to Russia and China.
...trust that Obama's IRS enemies list is fully justified.
...believe that altering the "B******i talking points" is an Italian automaker's revised marketing plan.
...believe Bill Clinton is the best spokesperson for the Democrats.
...don't have a problem with a twice-elected mixed-race president who spews r****t and classist rhetoric while living as the wealthiest of one-percenters.
...feel the primary objective of ObamaCare is to provide "affordable health care" to the uninsured.
...didn't know there are now 20 million more uninsured Americans now than when Obama took office.
...believe Barack Hussein Obama is trustworthy.
You Might Be a Liberal If You...
...still have an "Obama 2012" bumper sticker on your car
- right next to your "Obama 2008" bumper sticker.
...believe that achieving a record low percentage of Americans working, and record high percentage of Americans on food stamps and other "public assistance," are indicators of a successful economic recovery model.
...feel that v***r f***d is a form of "social justice."
...are certain that any criticism of Obama is rooted in r****m.
...believe Bill Maher and Jon Stewart are "journalists," and everything on MTV and in the New York Times is "journalism."
...look like "a deer in the headlights" if anyone mentions our Constitution because that is just "right-wing rhetoric."
... rail against racial discrimination but staunchly support Affirmative Action.
...feel the grassroots Tea Party Movement is a collection of ignorant r****ts, but the "Occupy Wall Street" movement is a coalition of thoughtful and principled reformers.
...believe CNN and The New York Times are objective, but Fox News and The Wall Street Journal are biased.
...feel George Soros is a benevolent patriarch but the Koch brothers are evil incarnate.
...support redistribution of wealth, as long as it's not your wealth.
...use hash tags like #h**ewhitey, #taxtherich and #h**eTEA on Twitter.
...believe that our Constitution is "living" but unborn children are not.
...are tolerant of diverse opinions as long as they do not divert from your own.
...want the government out of our bedrooms unless they're providing free birth control and a******ns.
...feel people who are opposed to the redefinition of marriage, as Barack Obama was when elected, are bigots.
...feel the free market is where one goes to collect government handouts.
...have no idea that Franklin Roosevelt's "principle on taxation" was plagiarized from Karl Marx.
...still refer to Stalin as "Uncle Joe."
believe that Che Guevara is a saint.
...know more than one vegan.
...oppose the death penalty for the most heinous of convicted criminals, while supporting the death penalty for the most innocent of unborn children.
...believe the only absolute in life is a brand of vodka.
...have joined Al Gore's cult of earth worshippers and feel "g****l w*****g" is all manmade.
...believe Oprah should be Obama's running mate in his third term.
...believe the phrase "separation of Church and State" is in the Constitution.
...reject the "paper or plastic" question because you're "bi-sacksual."
...feel that an open border with Mexico will provide you job security.
believe jihadist Muslims are misunderstood peaceniks but Christians are cutthroat terrorists.
...protest against state censorship unless it's directed at anything "conservative."
...feel it's OK to require drug tests to keep a job but r****t to require drug tests for welfare recipients.
...feel it's OK to mandate IDs to withdraw your own money from your own bank while it's r****t to require IDs to v**e.
...believe that making a "gun-like finger gesture" in elementary school is cause for expulsion while body guards for l*****ts should be armed to the teeth.
...believe that parents should provide permission slips for middle-school field trips but not a******n referrals.
...believe that "clinging to guns and religion" is subversive anti-American behavior.
...believe that "the right to keep and bear arms" is an obstacle to Liberty rather than its best insurance policy, that "a well regulated m*****a" refers to the National Guard, and that "arms" refers only to shotguns and hunting rifles.
...feel Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden are heroes for stealing millions of classified documents and making them available to Russia and China.
...trust that Obama's IRS enemies list is fully justified.
...believe that altering the "B******i talking points" is an Italian automaker's revised marketing plan.
...believe Bill Clinton is the best spokesperson for the Democrats.
...don't have a problem with a twice-elected mixed-race president who spews r****t and classist rhetoric while living as the wealthiest of one-percenters.
...feel the primary objective of ObamaCare is to provide "affordable health care" to the uninsured.
...didn't know there are now 20 million more uninsured Americans now than when Obama took office.
...believe Barack Hussein Obama is trustworthy.
Apr 2, 2014 15:02:06 #
bdamage wrote:
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favo... (show quote)
By GUM, your'e good!
Apr 2, 2014 15:09:42 #
Paul Andy wrote:
By GUM, your'e good!
I wish I could take credit, but these were gathered from Mark Alexander at "The Patriot Post".
http://patriotpost.us/alexander/24537
Glad you can concur though.
Apr 2, 2014 15:21:52 #
bdamage wrote:
I wish I could take credit, but these were gathered from Mark Alexander at "The Patriot Post".
http://patriotpost.us/alexander/24537
Glad you can concur though.
http://patriotpost.us/alexander/24537
Glad you can concur though.
Thanks for sharing it, all the same!
Apr 2, 2014 15:56:59 #
to: bdamage,
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
Apr 2, 2014 15:58:55 #
grace scott wrote:
to: bdamage,
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
And your better half is?
Apr 2, 2014 16:04:38 #
bdamage wrote:
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favo... (show quote)
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: 100% true they should all slither back to the toilet from which they came from an don't forget to take that obama docktator dog with them.
Apr 2, 2014 16:10:33 #
bdamage wrote:
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are my favo... (show quote)
***********************************************
You might be a conservative if your......family tree doesn't fork.
or believe that Joseph McCarthy's whiskey-soaked likeness belongs on Mt. Rushmore.
or believe J. Edgar Hoover's private wardrobe was merely on loan from Liberace.
or believe the "country folks" from deliverance should be role models.
or enjoyed the ending of "Easy Rider".
or gullible enough to believe that your political opposition uses "playbooks" such as the writings of Marx or Alinsky. Just because you believe in using "playbooks", such as the bible, doesn't mean that others work off of very old fables.
Apr 2, 2014 16:20:35 #
Now I know why people say "half assed."
You know Im teasing you Grace.
:wink:
You know Im teasing you Grace.
grace scott wrote:
to: bdamage,
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
I agree with about half of these comments. I guess both sides will agree that I'm half a dumb donkey.
:wink:
Apr 2, 2014 16:28:19 #
Brian Devon wrote:
*********************************************** br... (show quote)
You forgot to mention the "playbook" of Cloward and Piven.
Apr 2, 2014 16:29:22 #
Patty wrote:
Now I know why people say "half assed."
You know Im teasing you Grace.
:wink:
You know Im teasing you Grace.
:wink:
Alright Patty.....that was so corny that I had to laugh.
Good one.
Apr 2, 2014 16:35:40 #
bdamage wrote:
Alright Patty.....that was so corny that I had to laugh.
Good one.
Good one.
:oops:
My family says Im joke challenged. I some times even have to have them explained to me.
Apr 2, 2014 16:36:13 #
Patty wrote:
Now I know why people say "half assed."
You know Im teasing you Grace.
:wink:
You know Im teasing you Grace.
:wink:
Good one I didn't think of that one.
Apr 2, 2014 16:54:37 #
lpnmajor
Loc: Arkansas
Brian Devon wrote:
*********************************************** br... (show quote)
Or believe a gun is as good as a penis.
or think 4x4 refers to your visual acuity.
Think midgets should be politicians to live your dream of a smaller government.
Apr 2, 2014 17:01:29 #
lpnmajor wrote:
Or believe a gun is as good as a penis.
or think 4x4 refers to your visual acuity.
Think midgets should be politicians to live your dream of a smaller government.
or think 4x4 refers to your visual acuity.
Think midgets should be politicians to live your dream of a smaller government.
***********************************************
Touche'. I have always been suspicious of men who would rather snuggle with cold steel than a hot-blooded woman.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.