A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses.


The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of tequila, took a long draught, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair. The Californian looked at the Texan and said, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!! The Texan replied, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap.

A while later, not wanted to be outdone, the Californian pulled out a bottle of wine, took a few sips, threw the half full champagne bottle into the air, pulled out his gun, and shot it in midair. The Nevadan couldn't believe this and said "What the heck did you that for? That was an expensive bottle of wine! The Californian replied, "In California there is plenty of wine and bottles are cheap."

A while later, the Nevadan pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He opened it, took a sip, took another sip, then chugged the rest. He then put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his gun, turned, and shot the Californian. The shocked Texan said "Why in the hell did you do that?" The Nevadan replied, "Well, in Nevada we have plenty of Californians and bottles are worth a nickel."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com

Who say Scotsmen are tight???


His
name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying
to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a
nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the
bog.
There,
mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and
struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could
have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next
day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An
elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the
father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.
'I want to
repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's
life.'
'No, I can't
accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the
offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family
hovel.
'Is that your
son?' the nobleman asked.
'Yes,' the
farmer replied proudly.
'I'll make
you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will
enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a
man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.
Farmer
Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from
St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known
throughout the world as the noted
Sir Alexander
Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years
afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken
with pneumonia. What saved his life this time?
Penicillin.
The name
of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill ... His son's
name?
Sir Winston
Churchill.

Someone
once said:
What goes
around comes around.
Work like
you don't need the money.
Love like
you've never been hurt.
Dance like
nobody's watching.
Sing like
nobody's listening.
Live like it's
Heaven on Earth.
AN IRISH
FRIENDSHIP WISH:
I hope it
works...
May there
always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse
always hold a coin or two;
May the sun
always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow
be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand
of a friend always be near you;
May God fill
your heart with gladness to cheer you.
And may you be
in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.