Ginnyt - I think you miss my point. Jerks don't recognize themselves as such, but that does not mean the converse is true. I find generally that true colors do come out, regardless.

Rumitoid-
One of the defining characteristics of being a jerk is the inability to recognize that one is being a jerk. Hence you were never in a state of jerkdome! Glad you are here and doing some excellent self-review. Keep engaged; everyone benefits.

I completely agree that anger is sometimes an appropriate feeling to express. It's a challenge, though, to always express it in a useful way. But, seeing as how we are all human, I hope all will tolerate my occasional lapses into invective as I try to do for everyone else. Whatever our POV, we really are all in this together :D

Rumitoid - though I sometimes don't agree with you and would not call myself a Christian, I've mostly found your posts well thought-out and genuine in their request for critical thinking. I think your pause to review how we all interact is a good one, and well worth everyone's review.Thanks for posting!

:thumbup:

In the spirit of this thread I'm adding a list I came across in an internet article about differences between successful and unsuccessful people. Although the article was focused on work life, I think all these apply to a "successful" life In community as well. The list is a bit long for a posting but I think worth reading. Hope everyone finds them useful!

1. Embrace change vs. Fear change:
Embracing change is one of the hardest things a person can do. With the world moving so fast and constantly changing, and technology accelerating faster than ever, we need to embrace what’s coming and adapt, rather than fear it, deny it or hide from it.

2. Want others to succeed vs. Secretly hope others fail:
When you’re in an organization with a group of people, in order to be successful, you all have to be successful. We need to want to see our co-workers succeed and grow. If you wish for their demise, why even work with them at all?

3. Give people all the credit for their victories vs. Take all the credit from others:
Teamwork is a key to success. When working with others, don’t take credit from their ideas. Letting others have their own victories and moments to shine motivates them and in the long term, the better they perform, the better you’ll look anyway.

4. Accept responsibly for your failures vs. Blame others for your failures:
Where there are ups, there are most always downs. Being a leader and successful businessperson means always having to accept responsibility for your failures. Blaming others solves nothing; it just puts other people down and absolutely no good comes from it.

5. Read every day vs. Watch TV every day
Reading every day educates you on new subjects. Whether you are reading a blog, your favorite magazine or a good book, you can learn and become more knowledgeable as you read. Watching television, on the other hand, may be good entertainment or an escape, but you’ll rarely get anything out of TV to help you become more successful.

6. Compliment others vs. Criticize others
Complimenting someone is always a great way to show someone you care. A compliment gives a natural boost of energy to someone, and is an act of kindness that makes you feel better as well. Criticizing produces negativity and leads to nothing good.

7. Continuously learn vs. Mentally lazy
Continuously learning and improving is the only way to grow. You can be a step above your competition and become more flexible because you know more. If you just fly by the seat of your pants, you could be passing up opportunities that prevent you from learning (and growing!).

8. Forgive others vs. Hold a grudge
Everybody makes mistakes; it’s human. The only way to get past the mistake is to forgive and move on. Dwelling on anger only makes things worse – for you.

9. Exude joy vs. Exude anger
In business and in life, it’s always better to be happy and exude that joy to others. It becomes contagious and encourages other to exude their joy as well. When people are happier they tend to be more focused and successful. If a person exudes anger, it puts everyone around them in a horrible, unmotivated mood and little success comes from it.

10. Have Gratitude vs. Don’t appreciate others and the world around you.
Moments of gratitude, each and every one, transform my life each day- and unquestionably have made me more successful and more happy. The people who you are grateful for are often the ones who have a huge part in your success. Be sure to thank everyone you come in contact with and walk with a spirit of gratitude and appreciation and even wonder, about the world around you. Gratitude is the ultimate key to being successful in business and in life.

Great quote rich boise! :thumbup:

:thumbup:

Like a lot of people I loved Joan Rivers, though sometimes I didn't love her no-holds-barred barbs that went over the edge. But more importantly I respected her. She was her own person and never let any hurdles - especially being a woman in a man's industry - stop her. She'll always be an icon for hard work and perseverance, and success on one's own terms. Bravo!

Conservatives, do not look at these photos or your heads will explode.
(pinkpistols.org is a gay group advocating gun ownership.)
Just pokin' at ya though. :D

I think i might have offered this before on OPP, but seems worth reviewing in the context of this discussion. It seems fair to say that if we had historical religious texts that said if we eat yogurt on Thursdays we would become invisible no one would take this on faith as true. Our real-life experience (science) has convinced us this is not possible, even if generations before us held the idea as inviolable truth. In the same way it seems right to abandon faith (the Genesis creation myth) when we find evidence otherwise (the science of evolution.) I never see science as the antithesis of faith, but rather as a way for us to gain deeper understanding over time of this amazing world in which we live.

Dodi - I hope you'll come back. Yes, there are a lot of internet trolls on this site who do nothing but fling invectives. But we need more thinking people actually willing to engage in intelligent debate in order to really learn. Please reconsider!

Just Care, I am truly sorry for your plight. I was making a gut response to your displeasure with California, which has been a great place for me (despite the possibility I might one day have to leave San Francisco due to idiotically rising housing prices.) And I know terminal cancer brings a kind of suffering I would not wish on anyone - I hope your wife finds some kind of peace in spite of her illness. I do think your anger at immigrants is ill-placed though. It's the developers, constantly finding a way to increase their profits through cheaper labor, that have pushed you out of a job. Wishing you well in any case.

I think this is an interesting piece in the NYT from conservative columnist David Brooks. Thought I would share and see what others think of it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/02/opinion/david-brooks-the-revolt-of-the-weak.html?emc=edit_th_20140902&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=37695634

Why on earth would one read the article (or any information reviewing facts at all) before making a decision? Getting informed is such a bother; better to make emotional decisions based on gut reactions and inflammatory infotainment newscasts. :-D

I've lived in California for 20 years and can't imagine living anywhere else. I hate to see anyone so unhappy with where they live as you seem to be. Is it possible you could move to a state?