rumitoid

Below are listed my new Rules of Engagement not only for OPP but in the real world as well. (When some of you read them you'll think, "It's about time this jerk got some sense.") I have a hard copy pasted to my computer just in case I get carried away in the heat of the moment. Being honest, my answers to the questions below were not pleasing for me. I have at times made comments that were not loving in tone. I have at times been judgmental and arrogant. I have at times said things to a certain few people here that were scandalous and insulting. My comments have not always been "edifying, helpful, or uplifting." This is going to change today, with the help of God. For this I pray.

Rules of Engagement:
“Is my tone loving?”

“Am I judging someone I don’t even know?” (and if you are, DON’T POST THE COMMENT.)

“Would I make this comment, and make it the same way, if I were having a face to face conversation with this person?”

“Does this comment make the message of Jesus more attractive?”
("More attractive" does not mean watering down truth but simply treating others as Imago Dei.)

"Is my comment edifying, helpful, or uplifting?”

"Finally, read your comment and ask yourself 'Does thi(When some of you read thems sound like something Jesus would say?”'

The above questions were taken from this article, something I wish (and others here as well) I had read or thought of a lot sooner: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/dear-fundamentalist-trolls-youre-not-helping-anyone-and-i-say-this-in-love/

Dummy Boy Loc: Michigan

It sounds reasonable to me....but have you ever tried to catch snails with greasy chopsticks?

rich boise Loc: Idaho

Two thumbs up. Stirring the pot to keep the stuff on the bottom from burning is good. Stirring the pot to dredge up sludge is not.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

Great quote rich boise! :thumbup:

Boo_Boo Loc: Jellystone

This is a good basic list and much appreciated. So thank you. Long ago I stumbled onto an article on Forum Etiquette, it is not just directed at religious people, so I beg your indulgence for expanding this out to be inclusive to non-Christians. This list is lacking and not complete, but I think that it complements your list. I wrote down the important parts of the guide and I keep it close.

The author, sorry I do not know who it was, it is an old article and I do not know the web address, started off "Forum etiquette means maintaining a standard of posting behavior that is acceptable and appropriate. Forum etiquette can be flexible, according to the subject of the forum, but there are certain standards most people expect others to maintain. Some lines must be drawn for the safety of all posting on the forum." He/She went on with a short, but important list:

1. Never post personal information about other people. Even if that poster has all but drawn a map to his house, posting a real name or address could compromise someone's safety

2. Keep it civil.

3. Never practice scrolling. Posting the same thing over and over is scrolling. Even if you change the topic line, but are caught in a loop of posting the same information under the guise of a new topic. It is annoying in the extreme and uses up bandwidth, which someone is paying for. It is entirely unnecessary and makes the poster look immature and childish.

4. Don't become a troll. Trolls tend to scroll, call names, gossip about other posters, inject personal opinions of other posters, post things that are deliberately provocative and usually that violate the forum's rules about posting. Most moderators hasten to get them banned as soon as possible, but they can sometimes do a lot of damage before this happens.

5. Avoid as much as possible use of all caps. This is considered shouting and is very rude, in addition to being hard on the eyes. Something may be in caps for emphasis (e.g. I did NOT want to go!), but no post should be entirely in all caps.

6. Avoid Flaming, or deliberate insults or personal rants. Flaming is often employed by people who are losing arguments on a forum. Their response is to personally insult the poster disagreeing with them.

7. If you are using someone else's work, give them credit. Plagiarism is a strict No No. It is okay to use their work, providing that they are consenting, but to copy it without giving credit to the author is wrong. Wong legally and wrong morally.

8. Follow the golden rule, treat others as you want to be treated.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

In the spirit of this thread I'm adding a list I came across in an internet article about differences between successful and unsuccessful people. Although the article was focused on work life, I think all these apply to a "successful" life In community as well. The list is a bit long for a posting but I think worth reading. Hope everyone finds them useful!

1. Embrace change vs. Fear change:
Embracing change is one of the hardest things a person can do. With the world moving so fast and constantly changing, and technology accelerating faster than ever, we need to embrace what’s coming and adapt, rather than fear it, deny it or hide from it.

2. Want others to succeed vs. Secretly hope others fail:
When you’re in an organization with a group of people, in order to be successful, you all have to be successful. We need to want to see our co-workers succeed and grow. If you wish for their demise, why even work with them at all?

3. Give people all the credit for their victories vs. Take all the credit from others:
Teamwork is a key to success. When working with others, don’t take credit from their ideas. Letting others have their own victories and moments to shine motivates them and in the long term, the better they perform, the better you’ll look anyway.

4. Accept responsibly for your failures vs. Blame others for your failures:
Where there are ups, there are most always downs. Being a leader and successful businessperson means always having to accept responsibility for your failures. Blaming others solves nothing; it just puts other people down and absolutely no good comes from it.

5. Read every day vs. Watch TV every day
Reading every day educates you on new subjects. Whether you are reading a blog, your favorite magazine or a good book, you can learn and become more knowledgeable as you read. Watching television, on the other hand, may be good entertainment or an escape, but you’ll rarely get anything out of TV to help you become more successful.

6. Compliment others vs. Criticize others
Complimenting someone is always a great way to show someone you care. A compliment gives a natural boost of energy to someone, and is an act of kindness that makes you feel better as well. Criticizing produces negativity and leads to nothing good.

7. Continuously learn vs. Mentally lazy
Continuously learning and improving is the only way to grow. You can be a step above your competition and become more flexible because you know more. If you just fly by the seat of your pants, you could be passing up opportunities that prevent you from learning (and growing!).

8. Forgive others vs. Hold a grudge
Everybody makes mistakes; it’s human. The only way to get past the mistake is to forgive and move on. Dwelling on anger only makes things worse – for you.

9. Exude joy vs. Exude anger
In business and in life, it’s always better to be happy and exude that joy to others. It becomes contagious and encourages other to exude their joy as well. When people are happier they tend to be more focused and successful. If a person exudes anger, it puts everyone around them in a horrible, unmotivated mood and little success comes from it.

10. Have Gratitude vs. Don’t appreciate others and the world around you.
Moments of gratitude, each and every one, transform my life each day- and unquestionably have made me more successful and more happy. The people who you are grateful for are often the ones who have a huge part in your success. Be sure to thank everyone you come in contact with and walk with a spirit of gratitude and appreciation and even wonder, about the world around you. Gratitude is the ultimate key to being successful in business and in life.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

Rumitoid - though I sometimes don't agree with you and would not call myself a Christian, I've mostly found your posts well thought-out and genuine in their request for critical thinking. I think your pause to review how we all interact is a good one, and well worth everyone's review.Thanks for posting!

:thumbup:

thedrakester

Certainly can't argue with your list or intentions but a little anger, and I don't mean being mean-spirited or insulting, now and then seems okay.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

I completely agree that anger is sometimes an appropriate feeling to express. It's a challenge, though, to always express it in a useful way. But, seeing as how we are all human, I hope all will tolerate my occasional lapses into invective as I try to do for everyone else. Whatever our POV, we really are all in this together :D

thedrakester

"Whatever our POV, we really are all in this together." Amen to that!

rumitoid

Excellent addition! Thank you. I have added a hard copy of this along with my list to my computer. Can only pray that this may actually work and that my jerkdom is over...or at least arrested.

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

Rumitoid-
One of the defining characteristics of being a jerk is the inability to recognize that one is being a jerk. Hence you were never in a state of jerkdome! Glad you are here and doing some excellent self-review. Keep engaged; everyone benefits.

rumitoid

Great List! This is now a hard copy and pasted to my computer. If I can keep on the positive side of this ledger and stay true to my other two lists I could become a god...or more likely just tolerable.

rumitoid

Thank you, I needed that. I like what you have to say, even when it's not about me lol.

Boo_Boo Loc: Jellystone

You are most welcome. I also saved a copy of your list.