As a young man, I was an ardent Christian. At age fourteen, I was leading Sunday evening services in our fundamentalist church, appointed to do so by our pastor and approved by the church board. The Bible was always at my right hand and I could provide a ready verse to answer most any question.

Then one day, I was summoned to the church in the middle of the week. I was pleased to be regarded in such manner that my presence was requested at a special meeting. Beaming with pride, I entered the sanctuary and took a seat as I was directed.

It was only moments before it became clear that my presence there had an ominous tone to it. I had been summoned, not as a valued member of the congregation but as the accused at an inquisition. I had no idea why I was there and no one was explaining anything. I had arrived in time for the sentencing.

I was summarily expelled from the church along with the entire family of a friend. The pastor's parting words to us were that God grants the power to his ministers to pray for the removal of 'thorns in his side'. I was sixteen at that time, a dedicated Christian, and I had just been threatened with Heavenly retribution for a crime I was still ignorant of having committed.

It was several days later when I finally learned of the terrible deeds I had reportedly taken part in.

My friend and another boy, also a friend, had collected several empty liquor bottles and, as a prank had placed them on the parsonage outside front stairs. When the pastor awoke in the morning and found the collection in his doorway, he was furious. He established an investigation, uncovered the part played by my co-ejectee and under pressure to disclose his partner in this crime, my friend named me.

If I was truly innocent, why was I named? Because the actual perpetrator of the crime, the coconspirator in the dastardly deed was the steady boyfriend of the minister's oldest daughter. Had my friend named him, the repercussions on that relationship would have been devastating and he didn't want that responsibility.

I eventually was allowed to rejoin the church but the experience broke my hold on religious devotion. I was then free to consider issues my previous mindset would not allow.

The general behavior of professing Christians, like too many of those posting here, was remarkably un-Christlike. They demonstrated a cavalier disregard for the admonitions of Christ to humility, temperance in all things and service to God and fellow man. They were arrogant, abrasive and discourteous to the point of being ready and willing to cast the first stone and relishing the act with a viciousness that has also become far too common here. Too many of them seem to view Christ's sacrifice as nothing more than a 'get out of Hell free card'. As long as their prayers include a mandatory mea culpa each night, they can continue their selfish and abusive behavior with abandon.

I have abandoned Christianity because it has become a jealous hag where once it was a powerful warrior of the Word. The Shepard's flock is now mostly ravenous wolves in sheep's garb, pretenders whose aim is no longer to serve God and fellow man but to chastise, abuse and belittle. They personify the Pharisee's prayer...

No, not all Christians behave poorly. The church's foundation is still solid but the structure is in serious need of renovation. Meanwhile, I continue to look for substance in this universe but find very little.