Tasine wrote:
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I"ll try to explain, but it's difficult to do.
I was raised in the Methodist Church. Was never commanded by family to attend, and my family didn't ever pray aloud, or do anything I would consider "Christian" except they had a strong set or morals and independence. They took my sis and me to church because they obviously felt we would benefit. After we grew up, they quit going to church. Once I grew up I quit going to church.
I became the church organist at age 16 and played for services 3 times a week, funerals, and weddings. There were some incidences I'd rather not go into here, that led me to seriously wonder if my preacher was even a Christian. I was never comfortable saying prayers, and at home was never encouraged to. I was not stupid, but never could get much understanding from the Bible nor from duller than dishwater preachers, and I always doubted the words recorded as FACTS in the Bible, and as an adult I doubted them even more. I had what I thought was an epiphany one day, just out of the blue. I'm not going to talk about it here, but I KNEW, KNEW I knew something that Christians cannot accept. I talked with my pastor about 5 years ago (I had returned to church at the age of 70, a Baptist Church, hoping I could connect), but he was vehement about my "epiphany" being untrue and not possible. I later talked with him about doubting my "faith". He was a bit abrupt and merely said I was a Christian, to stop worrying about it. I didn't stop worrying about it, but I quit the church again. I felt I had taken the last step and that now God was not hearing me. Once again, now, I feel God IS hearing me. I'm not crazy.
This is the best way I know to explain what I meant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ br I"ll try to explai... (
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Thanks Tasine. I've had one of those, "I knew," moments also and it is tough to just sit and accept someone's dictates about your relationship with God, Jesus or whom/whatever after that. When you, "Know," you just KNOW.
I was at a low point in life as most of us come to at times. Trying to meditate, the thought came to me that I was just fine exactly as I was; that I didn't need anyone else to feel or consider my self to be, complete. I consciously thought the words, "I don't need anyone else," and then I heard, in my mind or heart or both, the words, "Because there IS no one ELSE! We are all ONE!" At that moment I was completely filled with what I can only describe as Bliss. The most incredible, wonderful feeling I've ever known. I realized that I was connected to the other 40 or 50 people in the room at the level of our souls. This was followed by my rising to about 150' above the building we were in as the feeling increased by many hundreds of times and I experienced a connection with everyone in Seattle! Since that night, I know.