Happy J

This is a question to everyone. As you know, I am in the service, younger than many on this site, and a widower. Of late, I have had a cougar (older woman) pursing me. Has this ever happened to you? And for the ladies, have you or are you a cougar? I told the woman that I was not interested, but they are persistent. Any advice of how to shake her?

bobgssc

Depends on your situation but a restraining order is always an option. Of course, if this is someone you have to be around, other options would be better. If it's a co-worker, file a sexual harassment complaint. If it's just someone in the neighborhood, tell her she is a flabby old *** and you wouldn't touch it with someone else's rod! ;-) Well, maybe not the last part.

Happy J

I tried to discourage this woman, I told her that I am not interested, I told her that she was vintage, and I told her that I did not have time for her. Then she continued her pursuit. So, I suggested that she join a senior citizen group where she could meet someone of her own age. That did not work. So I came out and told her to please leave me alone, no more communications, no more notes. I was not interested. Still she chases me! I wish she were a coworker, then I could use military persuasion. I do not think that I can get a restraining order because she is more like the "friendly" person.

I could not even put a bag over her head and touch her with anyone's 10 foot pole. Ugly would be a kind word to use. But, I do not want to really hurt her by telling her that she's not exactly bad looking. There's just one little blemish between her ears-- her face. I think if someone shot her, the bullet would turn around in mid air. Know what I mean??

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

How is she "pursing" you? Does she have an overly large purse that she uses to pummel you, or is it large enough to put you in? Either way, I would be extremely careful when in her proximity.

OK, I had my little joke, at your expense, and I apologize. I should not make lite of your predicament as you are seeking a solution to a very serious, to you, problem.I realize you are in a quandary. So please forgive me.

To answer your question, I don't have any concrete answers.

I did have a similar experience after my wife's demise. I must admit, being pursued by a member of the opposite sex is flattering, at first, but soon grows old. The lady in question was a widow. I avoided her whenever possible, but was never unkind to her. I had to turn down offers of concerts, movies, dinners, picnics, beach outings, and a myriad of other things. She just wouldn't take no for an answer. I made up some unbelievable excuses to avoid her company on several occasions. She was a very nice lady, a lovely person, whom I had admired until the "pursing" began in earnest. I kept introducing her to acquaintances of mine, and to friends acquaintances, to no avail. To make matters worse, she had been a dear friend of my wife, so we had many friends and acquaintances in common. I sometimes felt like a prisoner. I solved my problem by moving to another city about 100 miles away. To be honest, I have no suggestions for you. I apologize for venting my dilemma while having no valid suggestion for your's. I even used my children as an excuse, saying they were adamantly, and unalterably opposed to my having a "lady friend" since my wife's passing. She didn't buy that, saying they would have a change of heart after an extended period of time had passed. This was two years after my wife's departure from earth.

All I can offer are my best wishes and good luck in solving your predicament.

Wolf counselor Loc: Heart of Texas

Actually, Happy J, this IS a joke. Which explains why I am laughing.

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

If this is real, tell her you are in a committed relationship and do not want to possibly hurt that person by cheating on that relationship.. It aint that hard...

But I suspect this is a joke....

just_sayin' Loc: Former United States of America

Happy J,
You're in the military, so I thank you for your service. You're also a widower, and I offer you my condolences for your loss.
As far as this "cougar" goes, you have endured much, MUCH more than this, so I have to assume it's a joke.
On the off chance that it's not, (and I find it weird that a military man would fear an old lady) be clear, concise and to the point. For example, "Hey cougar lady, Please accept my decision to reject your advances gracefully, like the lady I know you are."
If that doesn't work, run away from her screaming like a little girl, "No Gramma, please don't make me take a bath with you again. It makes me feel uncomfortable." :P

grace scott

I'm an old cat--I do not chase. Start treating her as If she were your mother. Call her mom in public. Use your imagination with this. It may not work, but it should give you some funny stories to tell.

Happy J

Man, it is a problem. But, I did appreciate the humor. You actually made me LOL! I can't move, I am in the service and stationed here at Luke AFB. I asked for this base to be close to family for the sake of my kids.

Happy J

Dude, not a joke! She is relentless. I told her that I could not be in a relationship and she and I have nothing in common, to include friendship! She is a hot mess!

Happy J

Grace, you may have hit on a good response. I do not want to embarrass her or actually be mean, but if that is the only way....and gee how could she get angry if I say it in a nice way. Thank you!

Happy J

OMGLMFAO!! No, really first thank you. And second, my problem is real. I have done everything to convince her that I am not her man. You and Ms. Grace have given me an idea! Thank you!

Happy J

Honest, straight up it is not a joke.. I promise. I just don't know how to be a gentleman and tell her that I do not want her. Hell, she's not even rich! She reminds me of the "woman" in Full Metal Jacket "I make you happy, long time." Gross! She is the same age as my mother!

Wolf counselor Loc: Heart of Texas

When I first read the post, I immediately visualized the old lady from the old playboy magazine comics. With her boobs sagging down to her knees and chasing you with outstretched arms.

Happy J

Now that is funny!!!

Almost that bad! A real skank!