That is such a wonderful compliment! Thank you so very much. I hear you as far as your soul mate. My first marriage was made in Heaven, or so I thought. I was very niave but was growing within it. The actual catastrophe of it's end shook the foundations of life as I had known it.
We were highschool boyfriend and girlfriend. We did marry rather young as far as the standard of age was. I was pregnant with my first son, and once born I must have lived a life of fantasy as for what was really going on behind my back. Life was actually good, and my husband and I were very close during that time.
Then I got pregnant with our second son, and I don't know what happened in my husband mind- he just kind of went bezerk. By my eighth month of pregnancy, he came to me and said he had made a mistake and didn't want to be married anymore. That made me kind of numb, and robotically I packed his stuff for him. By the time it came for the new baby, it was another boy, and actually born on his Daddy's birthday, so I named him after him as well.
My husband did actually pop in to the hospital to see me, but refused to see our newborn(?). He brought with him his sister and one of her friends that I didn't know. He said, I don't want to get back together, and they left.
Six weeks later, my husband poped in again and asked if we could get back together! I was so thankful, and for me there was no lapse of Love. He still had very little to do at all with our new baby(?).
At 3mo. and 14da, I found our infant face down in his crib, having died somewhere during the night from Sudden Infant Crib Death. Autopsy and Death certificate stated this. I had never heard of such a thing.
Eight months after this, I gave birth to our third son, which his daddy was much more attentive to. When my third baby was four months old, I found through my husbands very ignorant and uneducated mother (5th grade education) that my husband had left me during my second pregnancy do to having an affair with the Friend that came to the hospital with him and his sister, that day of the babies birth. That girl he had had the affair with had ended up marrying my husband brother, and because his brother did not have a job, he and his wife (that girl) were actually living with us In Our Home at that time!
My husband sheepishly admitted everything, and life began swirling around me until it felt like an axe split my head and heart in two.
I had a terrible nervous breakdown, that actually took a year to recover from. It became complicated by the renewed grief of losing my second son, as though my husband had been punished for his Sins, yet it was my son and why did I have to lose him as I did nothing wrong.
I eventually grew in the understanding of my Faith, but it took time for the cannon ball sized hole in my heart to heal.
My husband and I went our different ways of course, after that year. My family was very supportive, and I clinged to them as I grew in maturity from being niave and stupid, and continued to heal.
I don't know if I will marry again, I have pretty high expectations that are probably unreal for the most part, my second husband was a very good man on the surface but riddled with the Viet Nam experience deep down.
Just don't know if I could do it again. My strong Faith in our Lord God looks out for me, and I give him 'all' my love and trust. (Sons and their families too!)
Happy J wrote:
You indeed are a very classy woman! Your comments, at times make me laugh like the end of this one, but mostly you give me food for thought. Your family is very lucky to have you not only a member of the family but you would make one heck of a great friend. I find that I like you! I have never tried to be unkind, but your comments have given me creative ideas. To be truthful, I am not in the market for a relationship. I have my boys, all under the age of teenage and they take lots of time, then I work two jobs. On top of that, my wife was my soul mate, she and I were so close I fear that any other woman would be a big disappointment. I know that is not fair, but right now I know it is true. Perhaps later on another person will walk into my life to whom I can share, right now.... No.
Keep smiling! And keep posting, especially to me. I really enjoy what you say!
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You indeed are a very classy woman! Your comments,... (
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