Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

Since I come from a family of violence that did not cease being that way even after I became an adult, the father's reaction, regardless of how "well intentioned" he felt he was that justified his actions, just about made my whole life pass before my eyes. We just never know.

texasace

All too many parents ignore their parental roll for fear of having their child dislike them. As a father of 3 beautiful girls, I can tell you that you CAN be a good strict parent, and still have your children love and respect you.

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

:thumbup: I couldn't agree with you more. "Most of what I endured as a child happened in private, except when my friends made my father angry and I got the brunt of it and his rage made him not care who saw what.

I have a difficult time even when I am in places like Walmart and I see parents being truly offensive to their children. I have to squelch the urge that comes over me not to intervene. Every once in a very great while, I do something to distract a parent, hoping it will disrupt things because I can't bear looking at the distress and shame in a little person's face.

Kenneth Biggs Loc: Nashville,Tennessee

Dear,Duckie, I AM IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ,THAT SPANKINGS SOMETIMES GO TOO FAR,''BUT''!, DISAPLINE ,IS NEEDED!, IN THIS GENERATION MORE THAN EVER,!, MY PARENTS SPANKED ME, AND MY 4 BROTHERS, AND WE ALL TURNED OUT OK!, THE PROBLEM WITH KIDS TODAY, IS ,PEOPLE WE THINK LIKE YOU DO,I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR ABUISE AS A CHILD ,BUT WE WERE NOT ALL ABUISED!, THANK YOU ,AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU, KENNETH BIGGS NASHVILLE,TN.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

I always intervene. I understand your caution though. I am old enough not to care what those parents think about ME, but what I say may just sink in a little. I am amused to see people, whom I have overheard speaking out about that parents abuse, scatter like roaches when I speak up.
I don't understand peoples self consciousness anymore. I always maintained that worrying about what other people were thinking about you, was an attempt to read their minds. I would like to see more people step up and say something, about a whole lot of things. I get screamed at sometimes but the "screamer" is the one who comes of looking like a dummy.

Duckie

Mr Biggs,
I appreciate your comments. I do not believe that I said all parents that spank are abusive. In fact, I believe that I said there are times when it is necessary. I truly believe that most parents are fair and do the very best they can. I too have seen a decline in respectfulness to adults, to include parents. This is a product of incorrect, delayed, or fear of being turned into Social Services. Parents do need to take back control of their children. My situation, I feel certain, is not prevalent in the US. This is another reason that I can forgive my parents because they were under stress, most was caused by their own actions. Both needed professional help for other issues. They are now getting that help and I pray nightly for their success and full recovery.

If I may be so bold and off the subject at hand. When you use nothing but uppercase letters in internet correspondence it is the same as shouting at people. Second, if you are using explorer, go under tools and turn on your spell check. It will not only highlight the misspelled word, but will offer you the correct spelling.

Again, Mr Biggs I thank you for your comments. God has blessed me and I pray that he will continue to bless you too!

meekep

I believe that each parent needs to make their own choice about "whoopings." I got my share my son did not. He graduated HS in three years and same with college while working two jobs--he did alright without getting smacked.
Your link's stretch of logic from lack of spanking to gang member is not what I have seen--I've been working with youth for over 25 years. I have never worked with a kid with serious problems that didn't get spanked sometimes right up through to adolescence when I got to "fix'em" cause they didn't respond to discipline. Simply put discipline is teaching. Spanking is punishment. If you want to know if punishment works just look at the recidivism rates for those coming out of our jail system. There is a saying about sparing the rod and spoiling the child. The "rod" is actually a shepard's crook and no shepard I've ever seen beat a sheep to get it to "behave." So spank if you have done everything else the writer of the article says was done FIRST. And if you dont still do all those other things and more.

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

I say "good for you!!". I only err to the side of caution because there was an incident long ago in which I was told that if I had followed through, I would have more than likely been charged with kidnapping, among other things. Frankly, at the time, if that mother hadn't been so much taller and outweighed me by 100 lbs., I would have proudly posed for my mug shot. I am 5'2" and probably weighed 100 lbs. soaking wet at the time. The best I could manage at the time was to call Social Services. The child involved and his siblings haunt me to this day.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

So true!! After I divorced my kid's mother, and had custody of them, and was having a really tough time; my granny told me, and I quote: Your job as a father is to teach them the things they need to know, so that someday they can take care of themselves. Teach them how to make it on their own. You can't always be their friend and get it done.
Now my son and daughter are my two best friends!!
Uh-oh!!! I left out Mrs. Bunker!! I have three best friends!!
Now I'm the one who gets spanked (not literally) all the time!! They gang up on me, and sometimes ruin my fun, claiming it's in my best interest. BTW, I haven't broken a bone since 2008, so why don't they leave me alone?

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

If you are a screamer you will raise a screamer.

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

Or not. Both of nephews made it clear to their wives, while dating, that a raised voice was an immediate farewell. They heard much raised voices. I know it could be an exception.