rumitoid

Wanna hear a dirty joke: A horse fell in the mud.
A clean one? The horse was housed down.
I am in stitches.

grace scott

Thanks anyway, but comedy is not your forte.

rumitoid

Lol, u r right. But the weak joke had nothing whatsoever to do with what I was saying: does anyone remember what that was?

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Was the horse IN the house, or was the house ON the horse. You'd either have a muddy house or a squashed horse.

grace scott

Sorry no. At this time of night entertainment is scarce. I read a lot of your posts, and agree with most of them.

Harpooner1

Well, here is another Horse joke:

A guy, traveling through a part of the country he had never been before, pulls over to have a beer and some lunch at a tavern...

He sits down at the bar and orders his beer and food...
On the television is Obama giving a speech...
He kind of mutters, " Obama...What a Horses ass!'
Just then, the guy next to him hauls off and plants a haymaker on him, knocking him off the bar stool onto the floor...

He says, rubbing his chin. " Jeez...Sorry...I didn't know know this was Obama country..."
The guy says, " This ain't Obama country! This here is horse country!"

pixie

now that was funny!...lol... :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

cant beleve Loc: Planet Kolob

Whatever are you referencing ? Clue us in..... :roll: 8-)

Loki Loc: Georgia

The Horse walks into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and says, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"

Loki Loc: Georgia

Now that is better.

BearK Loc: TN

Midwesterners are often accused, in their speech, of leaving dangling participles. This joke, which is an oldie, reminded me of that accusation.

On his 75th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation
who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket
to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,
'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, then say '1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been
and you can perform as long as you want."

The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,
"How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does,
the medicine will not work again till the next full moon."

He was eager to see if it worked. He went home, showered, shaved,
took a spoonful of the potion, then invited his wife
to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes,
and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we never end our sentences
with a preposition, because we end up
with a dangling participle.

BearK Loc: TN

This joke is really messy, but I feel it would be welcomed if it were reality.

Israeli Technology
Now why didn’t we think of that?????

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!"
BRILLIANT!
Maintenance – Clean up at gate 2.

Loki Loc: Georgia

Personally, I found it amusing. I have one that is probably too crude for this forum. Funny, but not clean like yours.

cant beleve Loc: Planet Kolob

:lol: I wish that this was true.... :roll:

Alicia Loc: NYC

*************
The horse was housed down. Now I'm in stitches.