In my family my brother-in-law and his wife were both morbidly obese,(both close to and sometimes over 500 lbs) and both claimed they were "healthy". My brother-in-law sadly lost his life this year at 60 years of age from falling out of a hospital bed, (the last few years the health problems associated with his weight had caught up with him and he had been hospitalized several times). His wife died 9 years earlier from complications due to her weight. I'm sorry, I feel for this woman, (and men who find themselves locked in a difficult weight battle,) but this woman is no role model, I hope she can find some way to help herself before her loved ones have to attend an early funeral for her.

I also have a brother in law who is extremely over weight. I'm not sure how much, but he's 5'10" with a medium frame, and probably goes well over 350. He's 47 years old, had 2 heart attacks, has a brass plaque with his name on it in front of his stool at the bar near his apartment. (sarcasm) When I see him, food is usually involved, and he can eat enough at one time to fatten up 1/2 of Somalia.
His father had heart disease, and diabetes, so it's in his genes, yet he chooses to be the way he is. I really do wish he would do something about it because him, and my wife are very close as siblings, and she worries to no end about him.
I see it not only as self destructive, but selfish.

It is an addiction, like so many things. The "drug" is impossible to avoid entirely and that makes it extremely difficult, requiring a total lifestyle change. You cannot detox from food, though I believe there are certain trigger foods. I smoke, I have lung trouble and still smoke, I smell bad from it, I still smoke. I have real sympathy for addictions. Alcoholism was rampant in my family, I say was, because they are mostly dead now, prematurely. I would rather hang out with someone who has had a few too many cheetos, then with someone who just drank half a 2 liter bottle of cheap vodka. Life is hard in many ways, we are all flawed, cigarettes are one of my lesser sins, so hey, love them anyway.

I guess I am more than a little OCD. I can not remember when I started running, but I have ran at least 5 miles everyday all my life (one exception, I was in hospital and in a coma, nasty parasite I picked up while traveling in Africa)... regardless of weather and I ran while pregnant. In fact, I like to run when it is raining and snowing and I like the very early morning runs! When I reached the age of 13, I was 5'9" and weighed 117 pounds. When pregnant, I went all the way to 122. My oldest son weighed 7 pound 3 ounces at birth and my baby weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces. I wore a size 6 back then. I am now close to 70, I weigh 117 and wear a size zero and extra small. But, I am not bony.... my ribs do not stick out and my behind (in my opinion) is too round. I too have a problem finding clothing for mature women in my size.... so, I gave up and once every 2 years have a tailor make my clothes. Bad thing, I still have to buy foundations. And folks, it is not my eating habits that keeps me thin... I eat almost 2,000 calories a day... and I am a vegan. I do not eat potatoes or rice products or animals or their products (eggs, butter, milk, and so on) and I do not eat fish. But, 45 percent of my diet is fat and 20 percent comes from carbs. So, technically I should be fat. I guess it is a combination of genes (my Papa and grands were thin as was Mother, but not so much her family). In the end, I think that weight does depend on genes and being taught what and when to eat at a very early age.

I still think that some people can be overweight and still be healthy.... I am not talking about beached whales, but overweight. In fact, in 1998 the Clinical Guidelines on the Identification, Evaluation and Treatment of Overweight and Obesity in Adults, says that People who are overweight can be considered healthy if their waist size is less than 35 inches for women or 40 inches for men, and if they do not have two or more of the following conditions: High blood pressure, High blood sugar, or High cholesterol. And then there was the paper put out last month completed by European Heart Journal, states obese people are metabolically healthy — which means their blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and other indicators fall within a healthy range — they are at no greater risk of dying from heart disease or cancer than those who are of normal weight.

You and I are in the minority of Americans. Most women will add between 25 and 50 pounds, and not be able to lose it, by middle age. I have compassion for these people.... to me, they are just another human with the same needs; to be accepted, appreciated, and loved for who they are and not the size or shape of their body.

Yes genetics plays a part, I come from wee Irish folk on my mothers side. That and my body must remind me to eat, I love to cook, and tend to snack throughout. When I no longer have anyone to cook for, I may just disappear, nothing left but the leopard print training bra from Marshalls. Just kidding, but how about those wildly colored bras they sell to young (small) ladies? One time I was shopping for underwear, grabbed a three pack from the extra small rack, it said 4, I assumed, size four. No they were for age 4. Sad thing is , they fit, not comfortably, but then I put on my glasses... so when I loose my car in the parking lot and die trying to find it, the doctors can have a good giggle at this old ladies undergarments.

Boy I hear ya on that one! I couldn't find underwear to fit me that didn't have Superman, Ninja Turtles, or something till I was about 35!

For the most part I agree, but, adding 25-50 lbs and not be able to lose it, I don't buy, it all comes down to choices, period. Most are just unwilling to sacrifice what it takes. As a single guy I find it disturbing and frustrating that it's almost impossible to find women to date that aren't larger than me. Granted, I maybe fussy, but that is the choice I make. Don't I deserve what I think is attractive without hearing the feminists banging their drums? Hell, I'd like to eat pizza, burgers and fries, and junk food everyday too, but I don't. If you're not digging ditches or have the metabolism of a hummingbird you don't need anywhere near 2000 calories a day, which brings me back to this. I 'd be willing to bet she couldn't get off the ground by herself.

First my friend, I am not a "feminist." I am pure bred country who enjoys being a woman. Men stand when I walk in, they tip their hats to me and they open my door.... and I love it. I get whistled at often and not by just the older men.... and I love it. I did not burn my bra or buy into the whole notion that I am equal to a man. I know my limitations and have no problem forgoing both opinion and decision if the man knows more than me.

Sorry, but I do require 2,000 calories for most days. I work hard, not digging ditches but I bet dollars that you could not keep up with either my schedule or workload. My husband, a fit and energetic man up until the day he died, could not keep up with my workload and he had no problems saying so. This did not make him a wimp nor did it detract from his masculinity, he needed his 8 hours sleep and rest after 10 hours of hard work. I don't.

I suspect that it is not just finding a trim woman to share your life.... I bet your attitude spills over to other things.... But, that is your business. As an individual you should never sell out or accept anyone or anything you think is inferior. Again... if you find chubby people personally offensive, it is your liberal right to keep on shopping. I wish you well!

I guess I am more than a little OCD. I can not remember when I started running, but I have ran at least 5 miles everyday all my life (one exception, I was in hospital and in a coma, nasty parasite I picked up while traveling in Africa)... regardless of weather and I ran while pregnant. In fact, I like to run when it is raining and snowing and I like the very early morning runs! When I reached the age of 13, I was 5'9" and weighed 117 pounds. When pregnant, I went all the way to 122. My oldest son weighed 7 pound 3 ounces at birth and my baby weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces. I wore a size 6 back then. I am now close to 70, I weigh 117 and wear a size zero and extra small. But, I am not bony.... my ribs do not stick out and my behind (in my opinion) is too round. I too have a problem finding clothing for mature women in my size.... so, I gave up and once every 2 years have a tailor make my clothes. Bad thing, I still have to buy foundations. And folks, it is not my eating habits that keeps me thin... I eat almost 2,000 calories a day... and I am a vegan. I do not eat potatoes or rice products or animals or their products (eggs, butter, milk, and so on) and I do not eat fish. But, 45 percent of my diet is fat and 20 percent comes from carbs. So, technically I should be fat. I guess it is a combination of genes (my Papa and grands were thin as was Mother, but not so much her family). In the end, I think that weight does depend on genes and being taught what and when to eat at a very early age.

I still think that some people can be overweight and still be healthy.... I am not talking about beached whales, but overweight. In fact, in 1998 the Clinical Guidelines on the Identification, Evaluation and Treatment of Overweight and Obesity in Adults, says that People who are overweight can be considered healthy if their waist size is less than 35 inches for women or 40 inches for men, and if they do not have two or more of the following conditions: High blood pressure, High blood sugar, or High cholesterol. And then there was the paper put out last month completed by European Heart Journal, states obese people are metabolically healthy — which means their blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and other indicators fall within a healthy range — they are at no greater risk of dying from heart disease or cancer than those who are of normal weight.

You and I are in the minority of Americans. Most women will add between 25 and 50 pounds, and not be able to lose it, by middle age. I have compassion for these people.... to me, they are just another human with the same needs; to be accepted, appreciated, and loved for who they are and not the size or shape of their body.