I just have to ask the questions: Had the relative been asked about the sexual preference of their sister that would not have been an unusual personal question that the sister would have found objectionable? And, would you care if a gay woman's funeral was held in your church complete with an advertisement of their life style?
I do think that in days of old a minister would not need to ask such a personal question like: Was the decedent a homosexual? Whereas a modern day minister most certainly would be treading thin ice if they ask such a question today. So, basically the minister would have made headlines whether he asked or did not ask. If he did, and then told the family no...he would be sued. He did not ask, and probably assumed, although wrongly, that the decedent's family would want to show photographs or a video of less sexual photographs.
And I think it is possible that the sexual preference of the individuals is not customary when making arrangement for funerals? I had a friend who passed away, not of my religion, but due to the fact they had no family I took on the responsibility of finding a church and putting together her services. Not once was I asked if she and I were in a homosexual relationship....so, is it possible that the minister just did not think to ask?
Is it possible that the minister only found out when reviewing the photographs? And do you think it was unreasonable for the church to ask for one photograph, that of the women kissing, be removed or replaced?
And once the video showed the objectionable action, the church paid to have the service moved to a near by funeral home. So, they were sensitive to the family, but the church policy was open homosexuality was condemed. And one would presume that the family had to know the policy because it is part of their web site....
In a nutshell.... this minister was in a no win situation. Had he asked and refused the event, then he would have had the gay community up in arms. Had he turned a blind eye, then how would he answer to the board who controls his money and more than that.....would the funeral be in keeping with his religious beliefs? So...perhaps he did the only thing he could...not ask and hope for some modesty from the family.
And... if the family knew of the church's position.....why did they commission the services at a church that did not approve of homosexual life style....and why include that photograph...surely there must have been picture of the couple where overtones of sex was absent.
Or... do you think that a funeral service falls under the "service" clause of the EOT laws? Dead bodies need to be disposed of... and many survivors of the decedent need closure in the form of funeral. Perhaps this is a function that a church should be obligated to perform regardless of religious beliefs?
AuntiE wrote:
He failed to do his due diligence before agreeing to perform the service. No, supposed, pastor, worth a pinch of spit, does not meet with the family to have conversation about the deceased, deceased' family life, etc. Had this man performed his duties correctly, this incident would never have occurred. No pastor should cause public humiliation to a family.