10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson
Apr 28, 2023 11:26:20 #
10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson
Satire from The Bee
Brought to you by DonorsTrust:
The world of political media is still reeling from the shocking news of Tucker Carlson being let go, but as with anything in the fast-paced business of cable news, the show must go on. Fox News has yet to reveal any plans regarding who or what may fill Carlson's vacated nightly prime-time spot, but the channel will surely attempt to hit a home run with its decision.
The Babylon Bee has compiled a list of absolutely perfect candidates for Tucker's replacement:
Lizzo: She's landing massive cameos in shows like The Mandalorian, so it would be a big deal for Fox to land such a huge, huge, very huge star.
David French: He's the fearless, stalwart guardian of true conservatism.
A robot anchorman who will thoughtlessly read the teleprompter verbatim: No opinions, just push the narrative, got it?
A Tomahawk missile with an American flag painted on it: 'MURICA!
A black mermaid: When you're getting rid of a white male, you replace him with a black female. Those are the rules now.
Adam Kinzinger: If Fox wants to go the emotional tear-jerker route, there's no one better suited to weep on television.
Hot blonde female anchor Tucketta Cartson: Wow. She's gorgeous. Where have we seen her before?
Volodymyr Zelensky: This would be the best choice for the good of Ukraine, er, America.
Liz Cheney: Fox would be silly not to hire the most popular politician in history.
John Bolton's mustache: Facial hair is still in style, and this facial hair is on a mission to start some wars.
Wow--so many good choices. Good luck, Fox News!
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-potential-candidates-to-replace-tucker-carlson?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email
Satire from The Bee
Brought to you by DonorsTrust:
The world of political media is still reeling from the shocking news of Tucker Carlson being let go, but as with anything in the fast-paced business of cable news, the show must go on. Fox News has yet to reveal any plans regarding who or what may fill Carlson's vacated nightly prime-time spot, but the channel will surely attempt to hit a home run with its decision.
The Babylon Bee has compiled a list of absolutely perfect candidates for Tucker's replacement:
Lizzo: She's landing massive cameos in shows like The Mandalorian, so it would be a big deal for Fox to land such a huge, huge, very huge star.
David French: He's the fearless, stalwart guardian of true conservatism.
A robot anchorman who will thoughtlessly read the teleprompter verbatim: No opinions, just push the narrative, got it?
A Tomahawk missile with an American flag painted on it: 'MURICA!
A black mermaid: When you're getting rid of a white male, you replace him with a black female. Those are the rules now.
Adam Kinzinger: If Fox wants to go the emotional tear-jerker route, there's no one better suited to weep on television.
Hot blonde female anchor Tucketta Cartson: Wow. She's gorgeous. Where have we seen her before?
Volodymyr Zelensky: This would be the best choice for the good of Ukraine, er, America.
Liz Cheney: Fox would be silly not to hire the most popular politician in history.
John Bolton's mustache: Facial hair is still in style, and this facial hair is on a mission to start some wars.
Wow--so many good choices. Good luck, Fox News!
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-potential-candidates-to-replace-tucker-carlson?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email
Apr 28, 2023 11:48:29 #
crazylibertarian
Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
Oldsailor65 wrote:
10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson br... (show quote)
I've always thought of Howdy Doody to replace Joe Biden.
Apr 28, 2023 11:59:32 #
Apr 28, 2023 12:32:04 #
crazylibertarian wrote:
I've always thought of Howdy Doody to replace Joe Biden.
Howdey has too much class....
I used to watch Howdey.......I was in love with "Princess Summerfall Winterspring " we used to email each other back in the 1950s
I recommend "Walter" as a replacement for Biden...
Apr 29, 2023 06:58:21 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Howdey has too much class.... br I used to watch H... (show quote)
Princess Summerfall Winterspring? Judy Tyler was also the leading lady in Jailhouse Rock.
Apr 29, 2023 07:45:49 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Howdey has too much class.... br I used to watch H... (show quote)
Email in the fiftys...huh
Apr 29, 2023 11:47:57 #
elledee wrote:
Email in the fiftys...huh
Oh yeah.....didn't you??? I wouldn't lie to OPP.
Apr 29, 2023 14:09:48 #
elledee wrote:
Email in the fiftys...huh
Everybody can tell that's a lie. However, me and Annette talked daily after her appearance of Mickey Mouse Show via soup cans and a very very long string. I can prove it, I still have the can.
Apr 29, 2023 14:15:08 #
F.D.R. wrote:
Everybody can tell that's a lie. However, me and Annette talked daily after her appearance of Mickey Mouse Show via soup cans and a very very long string. I can prove it, I still have the can.
Call'n me a lier huh.....go sit on that can
Apr 29, 2023 14:26:50 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Call'n me a lier huh.....go sit on that can
E-mail didn’t start until 1971. Perhaps you’re confused.
Apr 29, 2023 15:10:52 #
JR-57 wrote:
E-mail didn’t start until 1971. Perhaps you’re confused.
Oh....No....we used Morris Code back them...I wouldn't BS anyone on OPP
Apr 29, 2023 15:32:42 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Oh....No....we used Morris Code back them...I wouldn't BS anyone on OPP
Morris was a cat.
Apr 29, 2023 15:49:35 #
JR-57 wrote:
Morris was a cat.
Wrong again....Tom was the cat who played the part of Morris in the commercials.
Apr 29, 2023 18:01:17 #
Jacquie
Loc: New York
Old sailor is as salty as he is funny. The for the comic relief. PS Walter gets my vote no matter which party he's with!
Apr 29, 2023 18:03:11 #
Jacquie wrote:
Old sailor is as salty as he is funny. The for the comic relief. PS Walter gets my vote no matter which party he's with!
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