Something To Smile About...
You may need something to smile about these days..............
Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese
and came home with two cases of Beer
*
It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
*
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending
*
MY MIND IS LIKE MY INTERNET BROWSER.
19 tabs open,
3 of them are frozen
and I have no idea
where the music is coming from.
*
People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.
*
They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.
*
Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.
*
I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do it's because I've missed my exit.
*
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
You may need something to smile about these days..............
Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese
and came home with two cases of Beer
*
It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
*
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending
*
MY MIND IS LIKE MY INTERNET BROWSER.
19 tabs open,
3 of them are frozen
and I have no idea
where the music is coming from.
*
People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.
*
They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.
*
Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.
*
I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do it's because I've missed my exit.
*
You may need something to smile about these days..... (
show quote)
Those are pretty funny, thanks
THANKS, DON!! As OFF as things have been for a while, we all need something to smile and laugh about!! GOD BLESS YOU!!
maureenthannon wrote:
THANKS, DON!! As OFF as things have been for a while, we all need something to smile and laugh about!! GOD BLESS YOU!!
============================
He Better or I'm Screwed... Don D.
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
You may need something to smile about these days..............
Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese
and came home with two cases of Beer
*
It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
*
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending
*
MY MIND IS LIKE MY INTERNET BROWSER.
19 tabs open,
3 of them are frozen
and I have no idea
where the music is coming from.
*
People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.
*
They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.
*
Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.
*
I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do it's because I've missed my exit.
*
You may need something to smile about these days..... (
show quote)
I used to go to a restaurant that had a sign that said, "Eat your dessert first so you have room for it." Makes sense to me.
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