jwrevagent

Our church supports a food pantry here in town, and that sometimes happens-we had one family who was getting food for 4 people-parents and two teen aged boys-and no one questioned it so they received it for 8 years. Finally, some one asked why since the boys were out on their own, and the husband had died, she was still taking the food. What was she doing with it? She said she was selling some of it to her sons, and giving some to her neighbors-particularly the produce. I blame the pastors, who should have been checking on the people who used the food pantry to make sure they did not need more, and that they still needed the charity. The recipients should have told the delivery people they did not need it, but some people don't view that as stealing. Can't judge them, though-leave that up to God to take care of. Hypocrisy is rampant in the world-look at our leaders, after all-and I cannot in good conscience say I have never done one thing and said another. I find it sad that so many people place such a high value on how much some one has, rather than what they do with what they have. Too bad-social standing and financial standing seem to be the only standards by which value is determined.

son of witless

Churches trust people. It is not their job to enforce such rules. One thinks that people who show up at a Church would have higher morals, but they don't. I really am not that judgemental about poor people. It is people who have money and act like they don't. Many of them were poor when they were young, and when they are old, they still see themselves as poor even though they have money coming out of every pore.

jwrevagent

True. But in the case of our food pantry, it is a partnership with other churches, and when it was formed the pastors all agreed to keep in touch with the recipients, not because they did not trust them, but because they wanted to make sure these people were getting what they needed, and if there were any other things they could have, the church might be in a position to help. But pastors, I think, did not realize how much time that would take, especially when the requests for help grew in number. So, while the agreement lays the responsibility on the pastor, certainly the recipients should recognize that it is theft-this was not meant to be a cradle to grave thing. But yup, I know what you mean about people not realizing that they are no longer poor. My cousin put himself through college, scrimped and saved and spent very little, got a high paying job after college, never married, inherited several large amounts during his lifetime, but lived as though he were a pauper. I encouraged him to spend his money, give to charities he was interested in, and generally live a fulfilling life. He gradually let go of some of his funds, and when he died he left it to his brother, who had more than he did, and repeatedly told him that he did not want to inherit-I am not sure what the brother did with the money he did inherit, but I know he was not happy to get it. I was successful in getting my cousin to see that he could easily increase offerings to his church-not the same denomination as mine-and should leave a large amount to them, since his brother did not want it. At least the church did get some stipend, but when I think of all the good that could have been done-my cousin later supported St Jude Research Hospital, and the Apache Indians and some other animal and child charities, but he certainly could have done more, and never felt it. He never even touched his 401K or his investment income that he had with his bank.....too bad. But yup, I think he never realized how well off he was. I did his tax returns, so know much of what he had. He had a good heart, just simply did not think about how well off he was.

Ricktloml

My grandchildren will occasionally ask me don't you wish you had enough money to but one expensive thing or another. I always tell them I never complain about my income. God provides for me, I can pay my bills, afford food, and have a little extra to spend on them, and my hobby, (I feed stray cats). Like NPP I too have everything I need, although I lost my wonderful sweetheart to cancer almost 11 years ago, and still feel the pain of that loss. But we will be together in heaven, so I can endure the wait.

son of witless

I hate to be a sexist, but you see different things in men and women as they get older. If an old man lives like he doesn't have a pot to piss in, likely he doesn't. If an old woman lives the same way there is at least a small chance that she has more money than the people who are helping her. Usually if a man has money when he is a geezer he will spend it.

Either way it comes down to being more afraid of being poor than you are of death. I understand it having lived a good portion of my youth with the fear of poverty. Then you have the Marie Antoinettes of the World. Nobody will ever accuse those ladies of living below their means. Usually they got their money the old fashioned way. They married it. Their greatest fear is dying with unspent money in their purses. But then they don't usually show up at Church Pantries until they actually do run out of money.

Ricktloml

Not sure I agree, but there may be a small chance. Women would most likely not live in abject poverty unless they had to, men either for that matter. I will agree that women and men who experienced poverty may feel entitled to take advantage of any help, whether they actual need it or not. I knew a couple, (they were not "rich" but comfortable,) who took every ketchup packet, salt and pepper wrapper, condiment of any kind with them whenever they ate out. It would seem frightening habits are hard to break.

son of witless

My parents generation grew up in the depression. They learned the skills of hoarding and stealing " free stuff ", which were life skills for them. When they got old and had plenty of money, they still could not resist old habits. I lived it as a kid as far as things like getting free admission into venues for being " under 12 ", while I was over 16.

It only bothered me when I was in my mid 20s and I actually had plenty of money. We were at an all you could eat buffet. I wanted to crawl under a rock because my relatives were stuffing steaks into their purses.

I told them," You don't have to do this kind of stuff, anymore. " I was embarrassed, but not them. It's funny now. Back then it wasn't.

Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall

My grandmother was the same way...

And my wife's mother gets angry if we throw leftovers out...

Ricktloml

It seems traumatic events stick with you in various ways, sometimes even when they are not specifically your tragedies. I'm pushing 70 in a year or so, and wasting food bothers me,(something drilled into me by my mother and grandmother,) my grandchildren not so much. If they don't like it or want it, they don't think twice about throwing it out. I have to admit, it really bothers me, even though it was my grandparents and parents who actually experienced the need.

son of witless

We won't be around to see it, but I wonder if the current young people will get weird when they are old because of living through this. Maybe they will become extreme Germaphobes. Or toilet paper hoarders.

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Some how I can imagine someone leaving 27 cases of toilet paper to his grandchildren in his will. And you never know, that might be the really valuable thing in his will.

son of witless

And a case of 40 year old N-95 masks.

jwrevagent

I remember the clean plate club as a kid, and there were rules of consideration of respect concerning seconds. Leftovers were actually very good, I always thought, sometimes better than the original meal-and my Mom always made hash with any leftovers on Saturdays. She could make a bit of this and that taste like a banquet-me not so much. But as she aged, there seemed to be a progression for leftovers-from table, no matter how small a bit, to a covered bowl to the refrigerator, usually pushed to the back, and later, when cleaning out the refrigerator and the bit was now moldy or old and not good to eat, it could be thrown away. That was the only condition that made it OK, I guess. My mother, her sisters, and I found myself falling into that as well, until I realized it was probably less wasteful to simply throw the stuff out rather than use the electricity to cool it first. Actually, that was the Logic I used to start discarding bits without guilt.

son of witless

My mother could not stop buying food. She had several freezers and a full refrigerator and ate out a lot, yet continued to buy stuff. When she went into a nursing home, we had to clean out the freezers and refrigerators. We found a lot of expired food. Expired is a kind word. Some of the meat packs were so bad we had no idea what they originally were. I don't remember how many hours I spent scrubbing the freezers and refrigerator just to get them into condition so we could give them away because of the stains from the old food.

Ricktloml

Not as bad. My mother passed in 2011. We found laundry products that were labeled $.15. Yep that old. And yes she kept buying more.