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"The first five days after the weekend are the hardest" and other pre-Monday humor
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Oct 28, 2019 13:29:36   #
Pariahjf
 
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”

John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”

Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”

Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.

Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (show quote)



Thanks for the laughs!!! Appreciated...

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Oct 28, 2019 17:18:11   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
Here is my all time favorite Mark Twain quote. " When I was 14 I thought my Father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years. "


Yes, also one of my favorites. So ironically subtle.

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Oct 28, 2019 17:19:18   #
rumitoid
 
Rose42 wrote:
Good ones.


Thank you. We should do this more often, lol.

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Oct 28, 2019 17:32:09   #
rumitoid
 
Pariahjf wrote:
Thanks for the laughs!!! Appreciated...


You're welcome.

Reply
Oct 28, 2019 18:04:17   #
Fit2BTied Loc: Texas
 
rumitoid wrote:
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

Oscar Wilde: "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

William Castle: "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

Edgar Bergen: “Hard work never killed anybody...but why take a chance?”

John Gotti: “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Dave Barry: “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”

Drew Carey: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

Bill Gates: “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

Groucho Marx: “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”

Charles Lamb: “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

Robert Benchley: “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.

Robert Frost: “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Mark Twain: “All you need in this life is ignoranc... (show quote)
Words to live (work) by.

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Oct 28, 2019 18:11:45   #
rumitoid
 
Fit2BTied wrote:
Words to live (work) by.


Haha, yes.

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Oct 29, 2019 11:40:01   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Yes, also one of my favorites. So ironically subtle.


One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.


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Check out topic: Hertz and EV's
Oct 29, 2019 21:07:36   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.



Very funny. I saw something recently in that same vein. Titles on two bathrooms in a restaurant: one is "Blah" and the other is "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." There should be no confusion about gender, lol.

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Oct 30, 2019 19:42:28   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Very funny. I saw something recently in that same vein. Titles on two bathrooms in a restaurant: one is "Blah" and the other is "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." There should be no confusion about gender, lol.


Poor Mark Twain. So much of his writings would be banned today.

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Oct 31, 2019 21:23:36   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
One of his less well known works are the diaries of Adam and Eve. Adam speaking about Eve. " "I wish it would not talk. It is always talking." ..." Yes all of the trouble between men and women started back then.



Funny!

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