One fine morning, Slatten, Bahmer and Badbobby, three fine son's of the USA were out cruising...
Perhaps it should be noted that a bottle of Jack was slowly buy surely making the rounds...
As one may imagine the inevitable inevitably occurred and our three fine lads were given the opportunity to verify the existence of the Almighty firsthand... (See, jokes can also double as valuable moral lessons)
The Lord personally greeted our three protagonists at the pearly gates (much like a walmart greeter but without any congressional experience) and welcomed them to the their just rewards...
God:"Well lads, you made it, even you Bahmer (God being well aware of Bahmers success with fish in the sea) , welcome to heaven... You must have wondered about all those rules on Earth, and what can I say, you followed the main ones and earned your place... From now on though, y'all (it's a word , check a Canadian dictionary) can pretty much do as you see fit... Yep... We are a laidback, relaxed bunch up here and don't hold much with rules... There is one thing though... It's silly I know, but I really ought to mention it... Should you ever come across a pink cloud (was going to say rainbow so as not to be deemed a colorist, but that could also be construed as cultural appropriation) please avoid stepping on it... Just a personal proclivity of mine is all... Well, enjoy and see you around, eh! (yes, God is also Canadian , eh)..."
And with that the Lord took His leave of our newly-minted citizens of the final kingdom...
Well, it was the first day in heaven and Slatten was enjoying himself immensely... Rivers of beer and such and so on... When quite unexpectedly his foot stumbled upon a pink cloud... Lightning flashed and thunder roared and there before him stood the Lord...
God:"Why is it people can never listen... Simple minds should be able to follow simple rules... Well, I know just how to ensure future observations of My rules... Take her as your wife for a year and a day!"
And with that the Lord departed... But in His place stood a woman of less than appealing charms (to put it delicately) (actually Picasso would have had difficulty depicting this one)...
Slatten sighed... Offered his arm... And headed off towards the nearest river...(though beer goggles might not be enough but no harm in trying)...
Well, it was the second day in heaven and Bahmer was enjoying himself immensely... Angels galore and halos that never seem to tarnish...When quite unexpectedly his foot stumbled upon a pink cloud... Lightning flashed and thunder roared and there before him stood the Lord...
God:"Why is it people can never listen... Simple minds should be able to follow simple rules... Well, I know just how to ensure future observations of My rules... Take her as your wife for a year and a day!"
And with that the Lord departed... But in His place stood a woman of less than appealing charms (to put it delicately) (actually this one might have made Slatten's look semi-appealing ; think former Secretary of State vs current House Majority Leader)...
Bahmer sighed... Offered his arm... Started to look for angels... Thought better of it... And went to join Slatten at the river...
Well, it was the third day in heaven... Slatten and Bahmer were lounging by the river, enjoying a cold one... While their wives grazed..er... yakked.. er... umm... Engaged in womanly chatter...
Suddenly Slatten and Bahmer jumped to their feet... Over the hills, heading in their direction, was Badbobby... And on his arm a woman to stop a man's heart... Face of an Angel, body of a Nymph and eyes like a bunny (of the Playboy variety)...
Slatten and Bahmer dropped their pints (for shame gentlemen) and exclaimed together: "Badbobby, how did YOU pull this off?!"...
To which the vision of feminine perfection relpied:"Well... You see... There was this pink cloud I stumbled upon...."