Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

APPLICATION TO LIVE IN GEORGIA


NAME: ___________________________________ C.B. HANDLE: ____________________
ADDRESS: (R.F.D. - H.C.R.) _________________________________________________
DADDY (If unknown, attach list of 3 suspects): _____________________________
MAMA: ______________________________________________________________________
NECK SHADE: ( ) LIGHT RED ( ) MEDIUM RED ( ) DARK RED
NUMBER OF TEETH EXPOSED IN FULL GRIN: _______ UPPER: _______ LOWER: _______
MAKE OF PICKUP OWNED: _____________________ SIZE OF TIRES: ________________
NUMBER OF EMPTY BEER CANS ON FLOOR OF PICKUP: ______________________________

TRUCK EQUIPPED WITH:
( ) GUN RACK ( ) MUD FLAPS ( ) CAMPER TOP ( ) AIR HORN
( ) 8 TRACK ( ) 4 WHEEL DRIVE ( ) AMERICAN FLAG ( ) RUST
( ) FUZZ BUSTER ( ) LOAD OF WOOD ( ) HIJACK SHOCKS ( ) MUD TIRES
( ) SPITTOON ( ) RUNNING BOARDS ( ) C.B. ANTENNAS ( ) ROLL BAR

BUMPER STICKERS:
( ) HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY ( ) HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
( ) ALMOST HEAVEN, BUCKSPORT ( ) SNATCH KISSES AND VICE VERSA
( ) OLD FART ( ) I LOVE HINEY WINE
( ) SHIT HAPPENS ( ) REDMAN CHEWING TOBACCO
( ) WOOD IS WONDERFUL ( ) SAVE THE BLACK FLY
( ) DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING? CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT
( ) ALL YOU ECOLOGICAL BASTARDS CAN FREEZE IN THE DARK

FAVORITE BEVERAGE:
( ) BUSCH ( ) STAG ( ) OLD STYLE ( ) FALSTAFF
( ) BUCKHORN ( ) RED WHITE & BLUE ( ) BUDWEISER ( ) OLD MILWAUKEE

FAVORITE VOCALIST:
( ) ELVIS ( ) CONWAY TWITTY ( ) LORETTA LYNN
( ) SLIM WHITMAN ( ) JOHNNY CASH ( ) WILLIE NELSON
( ) DICK CURTIS ( ) GEORGE JONES ( ) YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER

FAVORITE RECREATION:
( ) SQUARE DANCING ( ) COON HUNTING ( ) FISHING WITH THE BOYS
( ) DRINKING ( ) BLUE GRASS FEST ( ) FISHING ALONE
( ) RACE TRACK ( ) FLOATING ( ) DEER HUNTING
( ) APPLE BUTTER FEST ( ) THREE WHEELING ( ) RODEO
HOW MANY CARS DO YOU HAVE UP ON BLOCKS IN YOUR FRONT YARD? _________________
HOW MANY KITCHEN APPLIANCES ARE ON YOUR FRONT PORCH? ____ HOW MANY WORK? __
NUMBER OF HOUNDS: _________ TYPE: ( ) BLUE TICK ( ) BEAGLE ( ) BLACK/TAN

MEMBERSHIPS:
( ) NRA ( ) VFW ( ) PTL CLUB ( ) DUCKS UNLIMITED
( ) FISH & GAME CLUB ( ) KKK ( ) WACKY WARRIORS ( ) ELKS

BASEBALL CAP EMBLEM:
( ) JOHN DEERE ( ) FORD ( ) SKOAL ( ) CAT
( ) BUDWEISER ( ) CHEVY ( ) BASS PRO ( ) EAT ME

ARE YOU MARRIED TO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING? (Check all that apply)
( ) SISTER ( ) COUSIN ( ) COUSIN'S SISTER ( ) SOW
DOES YOUR WIFE WEIGHT MORE THAN YOUR PICKUP? ( ) YES ( ) NO
DO YOU WEAR MOSTLY POLYESTER PANTS WITH SNAGS? ( ) YES ( ) NO
DO YOU OWN ANY SHOES (NOT COUNTING BOOTS)? IF SO, HOW MANY? ______________
LENGTH OF RIGHT LEG: _________________ LENGTH OF LEFT LEG: _________________
CAN YOU SIGN YOUR NAME AND SPELL IT CORRECTLY EVERY TIME? ( ) YES ( ) NO
HAVE YOU EVER HAD MORE THAN ONE BATH A WEEK? ( ) YES ( ) NO
ARE YOU A REGISTERED VOTER? ________ DO YOU KNOW WHERE TO DO IT? ________
DO YOU WONDER IF YOU NEED TO FILE A TAX RETURN? ( ) YES ( ) NO
DO YOU WORRY THAT YOUR HOUSE COULD BLOW AWAY IN HIGH WINDS? ( ) YES ( ) NO
WHEN WAS YOUR LAST UFO SIGHTING? ___________ ELVIS SIGHTING? ___________
MEDICAL INFORMATION (DO YOU HAVE AT LEAST TWO OF THE FOLLOWING?):
( ) B.O. ( ) CRABS ( ) HEAD LICE ( ) BAD BREATH
( ) SCABIES ( ) YELLOW TEETH ( ) GREEN TEETH ( ) FLEAS
( ) RUNNY NOSE ( ) TATTOOS ( ) CROSSED EYES ( ) STUTTER

SIGNATURE (ONE `X' WILL DO) ___________________________ DATED: ____________

proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Awesome!!!!..Thanks for the laughs!!!

bahmer

That was a good one oldsailor thanks for the laughs.

F.D.R.

Ouch ! For sure gotta send that to my son in Georgia, he may be there illegally.

V.Feltman Loc: N.O. La.

That is so funny. Thanks for sharing.