DotsMan wrote:
Celebrated 48 years last week.
Two things:
1. The wife needs to realize that the husband isn't wrong about every thing and doesn't do every thing wrong.
2. The husband needs to realize that she ain't gonna do it
As Mr. Spock would say, "Live long and prosper."
:lol: :lol: :lol:
OK. That was a little attempt at some midnight humor.
Now the serious side.
In the last 48 years I have learned a few things that I wish I had known sooner, many of them by making mistakes.
The first step is to learn to communicate honestly. This I believe would prevent most divorces.
The biggest step, I believe, is to make your first rule of engagement, "There is absolutely nothing in the world worth fighting about."
That statement probably requires some explanation.
I see several levels of verbal communication:
1. Chit chat: Idle conversation about almost any thing.
Your opinion or preference doesn't matter and the only consequence is the reward of spending time together.
2. Discussion: More serious about almost any thing but differing opinions and preferences have some meaning but only lead to better understanding of each other and/or increased knowledge of the subject at hand.
3. Debate: This is when you have differing opinions and/or preferences and there is an apparent need to convince the other to change his/hers. This will usually involve expressing why you believe that your position is correct while being willing to accept the other persons.
4. Argument: This is when you have differing opinions and/or preferences and believe that changing the other persons mind is important enough to insist that "my way is the best way" and are willing to endure some short term friction in the relationship to reach a favorable. Remember you criticize the idea/opinion not the person. The result will eventually be an amicable agreement. Basically you are "attacking" the others opinion not the person.
This is a good time to let "the passion and physical attraction" calm the situation.
5. Fighting: This is verbally attacking the other person, name calling, threatening, insulting, etc. THIS IS WHAT YOU AGREE NEVER TO DO BECAUSE YOUR MARRAIGE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERY THING ELSE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT OVER IT, GET RID OF IT.