Little Johnny skipped school
And since his house was close to the school ,the teacher decided to visit Johnny's parents after school was out
His grand dad was the only adult at home,and when he saw the teacher coming he told Johnny to hide ,and he would tell her Johnny wasn't home
Little Johnny said "No Gramps,you go hide.I told her I was attending your funeral"
I went to the doctor,he gave me two months to live.
I shot him.
the Judge gave me thirty years
A Police recruit was asked during an oral exam;"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother"?
The recruit replied;"I'd call for backup".
Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right"
never spent any time dealing with customers
A black widow spider was found in a container of grapes
Just another reason not to go vegan
you don't find spiders in racks of bacon
Scientists have discovered that people will believe most anything
if scientists say they have discovered it
Thi is how evolution started
two fish emerge from the water
the one behind says
"Don't walk away from me"
A naked woman robbed a bank
no one could remember her face
Someone stole the toilet seats at the police station
the cops have nothing to go on
Man says to wife"I had to show my gray chest hair to get my pension
Wife to hubby"you should have showed them your privates,
you would have got disability"
My dog was licking his privates
my friend said"Boy,I wish I could do that"
I said "well,you probably could,but you would have to pet him first'
When I was young I could climb mountains
now I have to hold on to something when I fart
and finally--
the multitude awaited the unveiling of Barak Obamas statue
badbobby wrote:
Little Johnny skipped school
And since his house was close to the school ,the teacher decided to visit Johnny's parents after school was out
His grand dad was the only adult at home,and when he saw the teacher coming he told Johnny to hide ,and he would tell her Johnny wasn't home
Little Johnny said "No Gramps,you go hide.I told her I was attending your funeral"
I went to the doctor,he gave me two months to live.
I shot him.
the Judge gave me thirty years
A Police recruit was asked during an oral exam;"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother"?
The recruit replied;"I'd call for backup".
Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right"
never spent any time dealing with customers
A black widow spider was found in a container of grapes
Just another reason not to go vegan
you don't find spiders in racks of bacon
Scientists have discovered that people will believe most anything
if scientists say they have discovered it
Thi is how evolution started
two fish emerge from the water
the one behind says
"Don't walk away from me"
A naked woman robbed a bank
no one could remember her face
Someone stole the toilet seats at the police station
the cops have nothing to go on
Man says to wife"I had to show my gray chest hair to get my pension
Wife to hubby"you should have showed them your privates,
you would have got disability"
My dog was licking his privates
my friend said"Boy,I wish I could do that"
I said "well,you probably could,but you would have to pet him first'
When I was young I could climb mountains
now I have to hold on to something when I fart
and finally--
the multitude awaited the unveiling of Barak Obamas statue
Little Johnny skipped school br And since his hous... (
show quote)
Interesting how you got disability.
badbobby wrote:
guess you got me
That's okay BB...I catch and release.
Go back to the Mrs. You're a keeper to her.
slatten49 wrote:
That's okay BB...I catch and release.
Go back to the Mrs. You're a keeper to her.
either that
or i just refuse to get off the hook
badbobby wrote:
Little Johnny skipped school
And since his house was close to the school ,the teacher decided to visit Johnny's parents after school was out
His grand dad was the only adult at home,and when he saw the teacher coming he told Johnny to hide ,and he would tell her Johnny wasn't home
Little Johnny said "No Gramps,you go hide.I told her I was attending your funeral"
I went to the doctor,he gave me two months to live.
I shot him.
the Judge gave me thirty years
A Police recruit was asked during an oral exam;"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother"?
The recruit replied;"I'd call for backup".
Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right"
never spent any time dealing with customers
A black widow spider was found in a container of grapes
Just another reason not to go vegan
you don't find spiders in racks of bacon
Scientists have discovered that people will believe most anything
if scientists say they have discovered it
Thi is how evolution started
two fish emerge from the water
the one behind says
"Don't walk away from me"
A naked woman robbed a bank
no one could remember her face
Someone stole the toilet seats at the police station
the cops have nothing to go on
Man says to wife"I had to show my gray chest hair to get my pension
Wife to hubby"you should have showed them your privates,
you would have got disability"
My dog was licking his privates
my friend said"Boy,I wish I could do that"
I said "well,you probably could,but you would have to pet him first'
When I was young I could climb mountains
now I have to hold on to something when I fart
and finally--
the multitude awaited the unveiling of Barak Obamas statue
Little Johnny skipped school br And since his hous... (
show quote)
Some of those were really funny. Thanks for the laughs.
BadBobby is the reincarnation of Henny Youngman.
teabag09 wrote:
Or Rodney Dangerfield
Fair enough.
Earlier today, inspired by this thread, I posted one consisting of Henny Youngman one-liners. IMO, funny stuff.
Except when you are going to those reminence magazine articles which evoke memories for me, your stuff is either very well done and serious or really funny. Thanks. Mike
slatten49 wrote:
Fair enough.
Earlier today, inspired by this thread, I posted one consisting of Henny Youngman one-liners. IMO, funny stuff.
slatten49 wrote:
Fair enough.
Earlier today, inspired by this thread, I posted one consisting of Henny Youngman one-liners. IMO, funny stuff.
dunno if you guys are dissin me or braggin on me
but I always take the high road
makes me feel better
tx
I think
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