badbobby Loc: texas

I am really old
I confided in my friend that i was having an affair.
he said"Are you having it catered?"--that my friends ,is the definition of old

just before funeral services the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked"How old was your husband?"
she replied"He was two years older than me,ninety eight"
"So that makes you ninety six "said the undertaker
"Yes" she replied"Hardly seems worth going home,does it"?

Reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman
One asked"What do you think is the best thing about reaching the age of 104"?
"no peer pressure"she replied

I've sure got old,I have out lived my teeth,my feet,I've had two bypass surgeries,a hip replacement,got one new knee,,fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind,cant hear anything quieter than a jet engine,take 40 different medications that make me dizzy,winded,subject to blackouts,bouts with dementia,and
poor circulation.I can hardly feel my hands or feet,cant remember how old I am,have lost all my friends,but thank God,I still have my drivers license

I feel like my body is totally out of shape,so I got my Dr's ok to go to a fitness center and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class.I bent ,twisted,gyrated,jumped ,up and down,and perspired for an hour,but by the time I got my dam leotards on the class was over

An elderly woman prepared her will and told her preacher that she had two final requests.First she was to be cremated,and secondly her ashes were to be scattered over Walmarts.The Preacher asked"Why Walmarts?"She replied"Then,I'll be sure my daughters visit me at least twice a week".

My memory ain't as sharp as it used to be
and my memory ain't as sharp as it used to be

I prevent sagging by eating until all the wrinkles fill out

It' kinda scary when you start making the same noises as the coffee maker

These days ,most of the items on my shopping list say"For fast relief"

My mother taught me to show respect for my elders,and I sure would if I could find any


Laugh a lot and love a lot my friends
there is an expiration date

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Thank goodness, I still have my DL.

badbobby Loc: texas

you too???

wolffy

I am so old that I shit dust

goofball Loc: timbucktoo

Better than shitting cat food!

Big dog

I wish I could remember why I'm here.
Oh yeah, for the FUN

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Or the PUN?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I can't quite identify with all of this, but I'm on the cusp of understanding and preparing.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Gross.