Holy humor.
Grandpa: Were you a good girl at church today, Missy?
Missy: Yes, I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money, I said, "No, thank you."
Sunday school teacher: Phil, who was the first woman?
Phil: I don't know.
Sunday school teacher: I'll give you a hint. It had something to do with an apple.
Phil: Oh, I know. Granny Smith!
The preacher stopped in the middle of his powerful sermon to ask, "Who is God, anyway?"
From the back of the church, a little boy said, "God is a chauffeur."
"Why do you say that?" asked the preacher.
"Because," said the boy, "he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What did Jesus say about people getting married?"
Little Johnny quickly answered, "Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To prepare you for my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, the minister asked all those who had read Mark 17, as requested, to raise their hands. Most of the congregation raised their hands. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
slatten49 wrote:
Grandpa: Were you a good girl at church today, Missy?
Missy: Yes, I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money, I said, "No, thank you."
Sunday school teacher: Phil, who was the first woman?
Phil: I don't know.
Sunday school teacher: I'll give you a hint. It had something to do with an apple.
Phil: Oh, I know. Granny Smith!
The preacher stopped in the middle of his powerful sermon to ask, "Who is God, anyway?"
From the back of the church, a little boy said, "God is a chauffeur."
"Why do you say that?" asked the preacher.
"Because," said the boy, "he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What did Jesus say about people getting married?"
Little Johnny quickly answered, "Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To prepare you for my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, the minister asked all those who had read Mark 17, as requested, to raise their hands. Most of the congregation raised their hands. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Grandpa: Were you a good girl at church today, Mi... (
show quote)
I really like the last one. It was right on target. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
truth is truth...... :thumbup: :thumbup:
slatten49 wrote:
Grandpa: Were you a good girl at church today, Missy?
Missy: Yes, I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money, I said, "No, thank you."
Sunday school teacher: Phil, who was the first woman?
Phil: I don't know.
Sunday school teacher: I'll give you a hint. It had something to do with an apple.
Phil: Oh, I know. Granny Smith!
The preacher stopped in the middle of his powerful sermon to ask, "Who is God, anyway?"
From the back of the church, a little boy said, "God is a chauffeur."
"Why do you say that?" asked the preacher.
"Because," said the boy, "he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What did Jesus say about people getting married?"
Little Johnny quickly answered, "Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To prepare you for my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, the minister asked all those who had read Mark 17, as requested, to raise their hands. Most of the congregation raised their hands. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Grandpa: Were you a good girl at church today, Mi... (
show quote)
the sin of lying
was great
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:
now tell me
whom did you purloin these from????
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