Going the e-mail rounds.

Why Trump?
You've been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately so you hire a guy. A pro. You don't care if the guy smells, you need those raccoons gone pronto and he's the guy to do it! You don't care if the guy swears, you don't care if he's an alcoholic, you don't care how many times he's been married, you don't care if he voted for Obama, you don't care if he has plumber's crack...you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He's the guy. He's the best. Period.
That's why Trump. Yes he's a considerable ass, yes he's an egomaniac, but you don't care. The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republican Party is two-faced & gutless, the Democrats are turning the USA into a muslim loving socialist heaven and illegals are everywhere. You want it all fixed! You don't care that Trump is crude, you don't care that he insults people, you don't care that he's friends with Hillary, you don't care that he changes positions, you don't care that he's been married 10 times, you don't care that he's never read the bible, you don't care that he fights with Megyn Kelly, you don't care that he doesn't know the difference between Hamas & Hezbolah. This country is weak and bankrupt, our leaders kiss the asses of people who obviously hate us, and on top of all that, we're being invaded and overrun by illegals! You just want it fixed. And he's the only guy who seems to understand that.
That's why Trump. You're sick of crooked politicians, sick of the Republican liars, sick of whine-ass Democrats and sick of all the frickin' illegals. You just want this thing fixed. Trump may not be a saint, but he's also not a politician. He's not a cowardly Republican. He believes in hard work - not handouts from Democrat commies. And he says he'll fix it.
That's why Trump. You don't care if the guy has bad hair. You just want those damn raccoons gone. Out of your house. Now!