permafrost Loc: Minnesota

So many overused insults on OPP, these bring a chuckle..

When Insults Had Class...

These glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
--Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never k**led a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
--Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
--William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
--Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
--Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
--Oscar Wilde-


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
--George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
Churchill's reply, "I am unable to attend the first performance; but will attend the second, if there is one."



"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
--Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." --John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
--Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
--Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
--Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
--Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
--Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx

working class stiff Loc: N. Carolina

They are beauties.

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

These are great. I emailed them to several friends for their use. Might as well have some fun here!!

Quakerwidow Loc: Chestertown, MD

shared on facebook

Betta

Thanks for the great laugh. These insults should be written in stone.

crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island

He'll be a very disappointed man on the first Easter Sunday after his death. (Inspired by a quote by Burt reynolds about his Riverboat co-star, Darren McGavin.)

crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island

George Bernard Shaw was at some society affair & was conversing with a woman of some standing. He asked her would she go to bed with him for $3,000. She thought a minute and said yes. Then he asked her would she go to bed with him for $5.00. She became indignant and said absolutely not, what do you think I am. He replied, madam we've already determined what you are; now we are only quibbling over price.


As war clouds gathered over Europe, Winston Churchill was talking with the German war minister. He said, we're going to win this time, you know. Churchill asked him why he thought so. The German replied, "We have the Italians on our side, this time." To which Churchill said, "Well that's only fair. We had them last time."

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

LOL

badbobby Loc: texas

These were mostly intelligent people Perm
and quite witty and literate
but a lot of us on OPP
do not exhibit these abilities
thus resort to the ugliness
good post

Weaver

Perma, I wish that I had the ability with words that Walter Kerr revealed.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

[quote=badbobby]These were mostly intelligent people Perm
and quite witty and literate
but a lot of us on OPP
do not exhibit these abilities
thus resort to the ugliness
good post




Speak for yourself, son..... lololol
Sorry, first thing that came to mind..