Dr.Dross

This friend has laser insight into people. He was a Roman Catholic Jesuit priest now in practice as a Jungian Psychologist. A study of the Christian Mystics had him leave the mainstream Church. He is amazingly perceptive, uncanny. In the area of the human spirit, he is greater than Sherlock Holmes was with crime. Often he can just look at a person and see what is at the root of their pain or just ask a few questions and determine a way to resolution. It is extremely unnerving. My skin is clear glass to him, my heart and mind (and past) fully exposed. Telling, not suggesting, me to meditate on being in heaven was a pill he felt I needed to take to heal or change. He did suggest I do this first upon awakening. There was no way to refuse.

I usually get up around five or five-thirty. Love that quiet hour or so before dawn, the time when Buddha and Jesus casually stroll together in loving silence. I prepped with coffee and cigarettes for a half hour. Why? If my friend wanted me to do this, it would not be easy. Time was up. Not thirty seconds into the unending joy of eternal happiness I could not stand it! I literally jumped out of my chair in protest. Joy was not fun, and the thought of unending joy was pure hell. No conflicts! No battles to win! Such peace was like flat-lining. What was the point? The sweetness of righteous indignation lost forever? Even miserable defeat over a fight would be better than such blissful emptiness. What was in anyway human about unending joy?

The point was clear that first morning. As must be obvious to you. Peace of mind is death to me. I need contrasts, polarities, opposites, and battles to feel alive or good or worthy or decent. Pathetic. I never saw this before. Thought I was self-contained. Actually thought I was working for peace. But peace would k**l me. Irish, love duking it up over anything. So after a week in hell, er, heaven very early in the morning my natural belligerent character was exposed. It's ends were specious, gratuitous. My recent needless and mistaken and ugly run-ins with three decent members of OPP had me seek help. To truly work for peace, I realized, is something I want. Nothing is better. Nothing is more in line with American ideals. And nothing seems more at odds with our present political climate.

bggamers Loc: georgia

Dont feel lonely I think a whole lot of us are in the same boat. I work week ends during the week I get bored have lots of projects to do but there is nobody to make me laugh or make me have to really think. Stop arguments or have to just be with the rest of the human mess. Get mad because the shift before left out a few things in report and failed to make sure the next shift has supplies. I think we spend so much of our lives fighting the every day world of work and surviving when we slow down we suddenly realize thats all we know how to do. kinda sad

archie bunker Loc: Texas

Our current political climate is like two parents going through an ugly divorce, and trying to gain custody of the kids. Each trying to destroy the other, and each trying to turn the kids against the other.
That has caused a lot of the kids to reject both parents, and step back, and watch the brawl while doing what they believe to be right on their own.

Dr.Dross

Very observant. My unfortunate lifetime experience. Always something to fight, argue against, complain, expose, condemn, and look to change. What else is there? Never saw anything wrong with that, never even saw that in me before. It was life. Natural. If you care about humanity and justice and goodness, it is meant to be a battle. Not putting on your armor and going sword in hand everyday was cowardly or apathy bought by the safety of privilege and position. Very difficult for me now to confront how I have lived my life and seen the world.

Dr.Dross

That is an extremely insightful analogy. Okay, it was brilliant. How do we break the cycle? Both sides are way too invested for a favorable opinion or outcome to concede any points or even listen. The "kids" are at stake, wh**ever each side considers the "kids" to be. One does not abandon their "kids."

pappadeux Loc: Phoenix AZ

If I ever get to go to "Heaven" I dream it would fulfill all my fantasies, such as wild Horney women, lots of good booze, old friends that I miss, but then they may be elsewhere. Without these minor details, it would be a most boring place. and the guy who runs the show keeps giving me that nasty look. Think I'll stick around for a while, at least until they change some of the rules.

Dr.Dross

We are left with considering is heaven humane? Or a place for us?