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Apr 1, 2017 11:13:03   #
Big Bass
 
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 11:31:42   #
bahmer
 
Big Bass wrote:
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 
  br   br It's Hell to be Old! br ''''''''''''''''... (show quote)


Old age sucks. I know as I'm 74.

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 11:38:12   #
bmac32 Loc: West Florida
 
Good one, made me laugh out loud.




Big Bass wrote:
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 
  br   br It's Hell to be Old! br ''''''''''''''''... (show quote)

Reply
 
 
Apr 1, 2017 11:41:18   #
Big Bass
 
bahmer wrote:
Old age sucks. I know as I'm 74.


But it does have a lot of good points, too.

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 11:41:46   #
Big Bass
 
bmac32 wrote:
Good one, made me laugh out loud.


It's a keeper!

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 11:52:19   #
bmac32 Loc: West Florida
 
Believer your correct. Cut that and forwarded to 28 people.



Big Bass wrote:
It's a keeper!

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 11:54:55   #
Big Bass
 
bmac32 wrote:
Believer your correct. Cut that and forwarded to 28 people.


It's much more fun smiling than scowling.

Reply
 
 
Apr 1, 2017 12:01:04   #
Quakerwidow Loc: Chestertown, MD
 
Big Bass wrote:
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 
  br   br It's Hell to be Old! br ''''''''''''''''... (show quote)


Can't LOL as I am in the library.

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 12:07:44   #
Big Bass
 
Quakerwidow wrote:
Can't LOL as I am in the library.


Oops! Sorry! I'm just glad you weren't in church, as it's very embarrassing to try to explain the guffaw.

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 12:26:05   #
maureenthannon
 
I have to admit, I laughed.

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 12:33:23   #
Big Bass
 
Good! That makes my day.

Reply
 
 
Apr 1, 2017 13:25:43   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Big Bass wrote:
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 
  br   br It's Hell to be Old! br ''''''''''''''''... (show quote)


cough,cough---goodun BB


Reply
Apr 1, 2017 13:30:10   #
Big Bass
 
badbobby wrote:
cough,cough---goodun BB


Cheers, Bobby!


Reply
Apr 1, 2017 15:56:19   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
Big Bass wrote:
 
 
It's Hell to be Old!
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''
OLD people  have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
  
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.  

'She even called up Alice, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open
 
  br   br It's Hell to be Old! br ''''''''''''''''... (show quote)


Yep, I understand completely. My Urologist asked me how many erections I get in a week, and I had to ask " you mean, when I'm awake?". He didn't understand, being a young man and all, so I explained " most of my erections occur while I'm asleep, then tease me with a brief peek as I wake up - just to show me what I missed".

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 17:27:36   #
Quakerwidow Loc: Chestertown, MD
 
Big Bass wrote:
Oops! Sorry! I'm just glad you weren't in church, as it's very embarrassing to try to explain the guffaw.

Meeting does not have wifi so, even if I were that Bad a Friend, I couldn't do OPP during Meeting.

Reply
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