"Old-Timers Bar"...
Mar 31, 2017 22:43:29 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
Four old retired men are walking down street in Mesa, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents. “They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men ask the Bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price..."
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men ask the Bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price..."
Mar 31, 2017 22:50:29 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Four old retired men are walking down street in Me... (show quote)
About covers that one!!!!
Apr 1, 2017 08:45:18 #
Don G. you never fail to put a smile on both my wife and myself faces!! Thank you so very much!!
Apr 1, 2017 09:48:41 #
An Old Harry Truman Joke
In 1980 advances in modern medicine were able to bring Harry Truman back to life. Jimmy Carter was in the White House and the first thing Harry wanted to do was to go meet the President.
Harry introduced himself and ask Jimmy what was going on in the world.
Jimmy said well Russia invaded Afghanistan recently.
Harry said "of course you sent the Marines over there and kicked their ass out didn't you".
Jimmy said "No I've decided that we should not participate in the 1980 Olympics"
Harry frowned and said what else is going on.
Jimmy said "well some students in Iran took over our embassy and took 52 Americans hostage".
Harry said you sent in the Army Rangers and rescued them didn't you?
Jimmy said no, we brought sanctions against them.
Jimmy said I recently pardoned all the draft dodgers
Harry with tears in his eyes said I can't stand it, I'm going back to the cemetery. The next thing you'll probably do is give the Panama Canal away (which Jimmy did)
In 1980 advances in modern medicine were able to bring Harry Truman back to life. Jimmy Carter was in the White House and the first thing Harry wanted to do was to go meet the President.
Harry introduced himself and ask Jimmy what was going on in the world.
Jimmy said well Russia invaded Afghanistan recently.
Harry said "of course you sent the Marines over there and kicked their ass out didn't you".
Jimmy said "No I've decided that we should not participate in the 1980 Olympics"
Harry frowned and said what else is going on.
Jimmy said "well some students in Iran took over our embassy and took 52 Americans hostage".
Harry said you sent in the Army Rangers and rescued them didn't you?
Jimmy said no, we brought sanctions against them.
Jimmy said I recently pardoned all the draft dodgers
Harry with tears in his eyes said I can't stand it, I'm going back to the cemetery. The next thing you'll probably do is give the Panama Canal away (which Jimmy did)
Apr 1, 2017 09:55:37 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
And Sadly Obama Was 'More Worser'!!! Don D.
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Oldsailor65 wrote:
An Old Harry Truman Joke br br In 1980 advances i... (show quote)
Apr 1, 2017 10:09:16 #
Apr 1, 2017 10:51:36 #
Plane Trip
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out "Business trip, or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention, in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own personal
experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?"
"Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African- American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck..."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.... "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be
discussing all this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out "Business trip, or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention, in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own personal
experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?"
"Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African- American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck..."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.... "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be
discussing all this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
Apr 1, 2017 11:15:16 #
lindajoy wrote:
Your right, also nothing changes. However I am most interested in the "Old timers bar", I definitely qualify. I should also point out that when you get tanked you may end up in the tank.About covers that one!!!!
Apr 1, 2017 11:58:15 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
I Love This One, Always have... I Think The Guy Was a Timeshare Sales (Thinking On His Feet, etc!) Who Got His Training As a Young Man In The Aluminum Siding Busing Before Going Into The Car Sales Business, ha... Don D. 
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Oldsailor65 wrote:
Plane Trip br br A man boarded an airplane and to... (show quote)
Apr 1, 2017 12:02:19 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Four old retired men are walking down street in Me... (show quote)
Very funny thanks.
Apr 1, 2017 13:58:50 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Four old retired men are walking down street in Me... (show quote)
wonder if he had any Jack????
Apr 1, 2017 14:22:49 #
badbobby wrote:
wonder if he had any Jack????
Well, I don't know if he does, but you certainly do!! Enjoy~~~
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