Retroactive nightmare: You might be wondering what a retroactive nightmare is. Let me give you an example. I once dreamed that I found a duffelbag full of money. A LOT of money. I was...

Mr Bombastic

You might be wondering what a retroactive nightmare is. Let me give you an example. I once dreamed that I found a duffelbag full of money. A LOT of money. I was living the high life. I never wanted for anything. I gave money to my friends and family, and donated to my favorite charities. Life was good. Then I woke up, and realized that I was still poor. Anyone ever have a similar dream?

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

Mr Bombastic wrote:

You might be wondering what a retroactive nightmare is. Let me give you an example. I once dreamed that I found a duffelbag full of money. A LOT of money. I was living the high life. I never wanted for anything. I gave money to my friends and family, and donated to my favorite charities. Life was good. Then I woke up, and realized that I was still poor. Anyone ever have a similar dream?

When I quit smoking, I would dream that I was smoking. Awakened by the horror, I knew if I ever started again, I'd never quit. After nearly nine years, it all came true.

bahmer

QuestGirl wrote:

When I quit smoking, I would dream that I was smoking. Awakened by the horror, I knew if I ever started again, I'd never quit. After nearly nine years, it all came true.

I quit smoking and stayed smoke free for seven years, and then while on a service call for a company that I was employed with at the time, I started back smoking. I continued smoking for a number of years and finally quit about two years before my late wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. I now have emphysema and I am alone. Not fun, quit now, you can do it.

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

bahmer wrote:

I quit smoking and stayed smoke free for seven years, and then while on a service call for a company that I was employed with at the time, I started back smoking. I continued smoking for a number of years and finally quit about two years before my late wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. I now have emphysema and I am alone. Not fun, quit now, you can do it.

I am at the very beginning of that stage. A year ago, I caught first time bronchitis, followed by first time pneumonia two months later, I turn 60 this year. I still kick myself, since 2008. Thanks for the encouragement! I've been alone for a very long time. The responsibility that lies within a relationship is overwhelming to me.

bahmer

QuestGirl wrote:

I am at the very beginning of that stage. A year ago, I caught first time bronchitis, followed by first time pneumonia two months later, I turn 60 this year. I still kick myself, since 2008. Thanks for the encouragement! I've been alone for a very long time. The responsibility that lies within a relationship is overwhelming to me.

Stick with it girl, you can do it, I'm sure of it.

badbobby Loc: texas

Mr Bombastic wrote:

You might be wondering what a retroactive nightmare is. Let me give you an example. I once dreamed that I found a duffelbag full of money. A LOT of money. I was living the high life. I never wanted for anything. I gave money to my friends and family, and donated to my favorite charities. Life was good. Then I woke up, and realized that I was still poor. Anyone ever have a similar dream?

-When young,I did not dream at all
now I dream about being young
makes me wonder about myself

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

bahmer wrote:

Stick with it girl, you can do it, I'm sure of it.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife. My mom buried two husband's by age 51. She never got through the first loss, the love of her life.

bahmer

QuestGirl wrote:

I'm sorry to hear about your wife. My mom buried two husband's by age 51. She never got through the first loss, the love of her life.

We were married for 43 years and I wish she was still alive. Thanks.

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

bahmer wrote:

We were married for 43 years and I wish she was still alive. Thanks.

I'm sure you do. It isn't easy being alone. Being lonely is far more difficult. I will never reach that milestone. My parents had only 25 years when my father died in 1971. My mother died in 1987. She carried a great deal of unresolved pain, carried over from her first loss.

bahmer

QuestGirl wrote:

I'm sure you do. It isn't easy being alone. Being lonely is far more difficult. I will never reach that milestone. My parents had only 25 years when my father died in 1971. My mother died in 1987. She carried a great deal of unresolved pain, carried over from her first loss.

Getting over a loss is a very difficult process. In can take years and sometimes it never goes away.

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

bahmer wrote:

Getting over a loss is a very difficult process. In can take years and sometimes it never goes away.

It never goes away. One can only get through it, daily. Many get stuck in the grief cycle, between anger and denial.

bahmer

QuestGirl wrote:

It never goes away. One can only get through it, daily. Many get stuck in the grief cycle, between anger and denial.

The hardest death that I had to deal with was the loss of my 18 year old son to a hit and run driver out in Redding CA. He was living with his sister and her husband and they were starting a youth ministry out there. The man that k**led my son had just left the bar that his girlfriend worked as a bartender and of course everyone in the bar swears that he was as sober as a church mouse. The judge gave this man 45 years old a 180 day sentence. He said to me that I suppose that you disagree with that sentence and I replied that if he can give me my son back perfectly healthy in 180 days I would be happy to call it all square. It took me about three years before I started getting a grip on that loss as he was my only son. I still have two daughters though and they are both great. I also have four grandchildren who I love dearly.

badbobby Loc: texas

bahmer wrote:

The hardest death that I had to deal with was the ... (show quote)

my condolences to you both
my heart goes out to you
everyone loses someone dear to them
it's a fact of life
I too have lost more than a few

bahmer

badbobby wrote:

my condolences to you both
my heart goes out to you
everyone loses someone dear to them
it's a fact of life
I too have lost more than a few

Thank you and my condolences to you as well. It does catch us off guard and it does hurt a lot.

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

bahmer wrote:

The hardest death that I had to deal with was the ... (show quote)

That is unexplainable loss. It is not the natural order of life for a parent to lose a child. I can't even imagine that level of loss.

I have one daughter, not yet 23, and h**es me since about age 13. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 years now. I aiming for age 30, when she'll decide to stop hating me. I'm hoping for sooner. I don't like it, but I also know who raised her. She has reason, so she thinks.